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Confused. 

Saw this on Jacq's blog.

I think I will make sure he doesn't wake up from all the commotion. Because I won't want him to suffer the pain of seeing him lose his love one. At least when he dies, he is with his love one, having the memory of going on a vacation/ or having enjoyed a vacation, rather than be horrified the end is nearing.

I would rather bear the pain by myself, and seeing that he is ok, I will be alright.

When I walked past that corridor where he always takes a puff, I thought I caught a whiff of the familiar burnt tobacco smell...

Was I imagining too much? 2 nights in a row, same spot.

Awkward moment when my neighbour asked about him. When my neighbour prompted "move out already?" I just said "yes". Technically, I'm not wrong. I just didn't want to tell you everything.

Just hope that you leave everything behind and live a happier life now. Don't have to worry. I'm going to study real hard and earn a lot of money to take care of family.

Just go and don't look back.

Sometimes when you don't talk, it doesn't mean you ain't thinking about it.

Sometimes you talk a lot, just to mask the fact of the many other things you are thinking about that you don't wish to tell the others.

But sometimes, all I want is to not talk at all, away from anyone and just let the thoughts come alive. Even if I were to wallow in self pity...

So please don't force me alright? Like a mimosa, the more you force me, the more I will retreat into my inner core and never face the light again.

Rain drops

The rhythmic sound of the rain drops syncing with the heart pounding.
An emotion stirring in the depths of the soul.

Memories marred with questions and uncertainties.
The rain seem to wash over them,
clearing away the dirt,
revealing what's beneath.

Lies are intertwined with the truth.
Only the clear headed and pure hearted can see through.
Don't be fooled by what's told and what's seen,
for the ears and eyes could be tricked by the many disguises.

As the rain drops bounced off the skin lightly,
the heavy burden seemed to be lifted off the shoulders
ever so lightly...
ever so lightly...

The temporary relief, the temporary retreat,
to the world unknown to others
but only to me.

But when the rain stopped
Reality crash the soul,
suffocating it, bringing an abrupt halt to the internal train of thoughts.

Theres a rainbow of hope.
Somewhere out there, after the rain.
Visible but unreachable.

Life continues even if you stop,
nothing changed
before and after the rain.

Train to school

The pair of old folks boarded the train. I didn't notice the old man at 1st, and since the gentleman beside me gave up his seat for the old woman, I remained seated while playing solitaire. Then I saw him, and got up hastily and gave up my seat, without much thought. They thanked us profusely and appeared embarrassed.

Just then, I just wished that whenever my aged parents board the train, some kind soul will offer their seats to them as well. (I'm guilty of staring at young people with the deadly stares to get seats for my parents. HAHA)

Before they reached their destination, they got off their seats and insisted that we returned to our seats. They only seem happy after me and the said gentleman were comfortably back on our seats. Such a cute couple.

I hope when I grew old, I will be like them.
new past