When a simple hi evolve to a short convo.

When a short convo evolve into a longer convo.

When the convo begin to be peppered with constant banter, jokes and even serious topics.

When one start to show concern

When you feel comfortable talking to that person

Is this the start of a beautiful friendship? Or is this just my own wistful thinking.?

Ended, I fought my last battle... The war left me tattered and torn- emotionally.

Heart felt numbed.
Got the feeling of no feeling.
Weird isnt it?
Ain't i supposed to be glad its all over?
I know I did my best, wouldn't/can't have done anything better.

Leave it till 30dec to decide my fate.

Woke up and felt so unwell this morning. Now still feeling abit disorientated.

All these all seems so surreal, my heart been pounding so hard for the past hour. No idea why, and I can't seems to concentrate. A sign of the impending doom that is making me feeling like this now?

Somehow I lost my fighting spirit. I resign to fate, to be slaughtered. I mean the more I think about it, the harder it is to want to score for the rest of my modules. Marketing is such a mind boggling subject, though I enjoy learning it- really and applying it, but there is always a big fat question mark looming in the horizon, you will never know if what you wrote is what they want, the analysis you give is going to give you that A or that B. As for math for economist, I'm so sad that I can't conveniently skip steps using G.C. D: Because my tutor has no idea what a G.C. is. D: Just have to rely on the traditional method and pray hard I got my concepts right. The past year qns are all so tough! Haix. As for accounting, I'm trying my best not to have an anxiety attack. My most feared subject thus far. I'm praying hard that I got my foundation nailed and that they will give method marks,etc. There is consultation today actually, but I'm not going, because I don't want to give myself more pressure and stress. Whatever will be will be, just hope that my brain do not give up on me. And most importantly, I don't give up on myself.

Just 3 more days to freedom. Gloomy days will soon be over, say hello to better sleep, better skin, happier me.

Woah, had a bill shock from starhub yesterday night- $90.99! Woah, never had I cross the $90 dollar mark before. Called them up and demanded to know why I am charged for the F.O.C data - msn and fb in particular. Operator was BAGUS! haha, waived everything for me, check out what went wrong, etc. :D Thanks Desmond from billing. Fengyi told me had to scold them, etc then can waive off, I was preparing to scold, sound fierce etc, but I guess my normal voice (which sound like Im crying) was enough. HAHA :x

Travelled back to ntu today. Wanted to come back earlier, but mama wanted to htht with me, so i sat there listening to her rant about the household, etc. Wont be going back this weekend. Kindof sad, but I know that right now I need to get the rest nailed. My seemingly lack of intelligence forced me to work extra hard to make the grade. To stay afloat rather, since the A seems so elusive now. So near yet so far, just when you thought it is within your grasp, poof, its gone. It just slipped off your fingertips like this... But nonetheless, I will still try to chase and grab it back. Hopefully.

Just a few more days, and I will be back in my lovely mouse nest at home... Had the best sleep in ages last night. Though mama still said I looked to be in a bad shape. Chicken essence here I come.

Oh my, I so wanna kick myself for forgetting that simple eqn and how to do it. I'm sure everyone knows how to do it except for me. Grrrr. Okok, nt going to let it affect me, but.. Grrr. Hating myself. Kick myself in the face.

" Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armour, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ' maybe we should be friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."
-Neil Gaiman

I'm in such a state of confusion that it scares me.

Woke up earlier today to have jogging session with Jingyi. Wasn't a very long jog, just a short one around the hall area. Had a long chat with her after that during cool down session.

Looking forward to some things this weekend
1. Some REAL sleep and rest.
2. Complete assignment 3 and get some people who do not understand econs to proof-read. :D
3. Watch Taohua xiamei.
4. Try linking marketing concepts together.
5. Read notes.
6. Grow more crops for country story! WAHAHAHAH, according to ongjunmin, she letting me play the country story music in room is the ultimate roomie love act already! HAHA. Plus my constant "Should I get a duck or chicken?" :x
7. Sort out my thoughts, n throw out those stupid thoughts.
8. Forgive and forget
9.Read Newspaper
10. Catch up with family.
new past