Would you continue to wait for something that will lead to no where?

I woke up from a dream, a dream I don't wish to wake up from. As I try to piece back the imagery that kept me smiling like a fool even after I awoke, I found it slipping away fast. Its like trying to contain water in cupped hands, the more you want to contain it, the faster the water seems to slip away from your fingers. Then it struck me there and then. Perhaps we would all be happier if we just let things be. By being greedy, I found myself upset and frustrated. Why not just be contented with what I had at the moment?

So,
Just knowing you care is enough to keep me contented. I shan't be greedy. (:

Let me help you wipe those tears away.

You will pick yourself up from where you fall. Don't worry, I'm right behind you.

It doesn't matter how often you fall. What matters is that after each fall, you learn how to pick yourself up.

Misunderstanding

I want you to know that seeing is not believing

I want to clarify with you everything

I want to know how you feel about it.

I want to, I want to, I want to.

But I'm scared,

Afraid you won't give me the chance

Afraid to hear what I don't wish to hear

Afraid to wake up and realise everything was just a dream.

Tell me what to do. ):


Been hesitating to blog about my 20th birthday, its like me officially acknowledging the fact that I had just cross the 20th mark! Looking back 10 years ago, I was still this little school girl who tied two big pony tails to school. And now I am this yet to be woman in university, still finding my way to survive this asphalt jungle.

I had made official records of my birthday, in details in that scrapbook given to me by 1807. I didn't want to forget any part of it, every part is special to me...(: this birthday had been a magical one, why so, because to me, it made me realized how loved I'm to people around me. They accepted me for who I am (this siao gin na who never seems to tire and ever so childish) and took the effort to make my birthday a special affair. Receiving 6 cakes by 6 different groups of people wasn't what I expected, but each cake left a sweet memory for me to cherish.

To the innocent people who got sabo-ed on my birthday, my apologies and many thanks. For that, you guys made me when happy girl, because I had never laugh so hard for such a long time. To everyone who made an effort to celebrate with me, be it to attend the celebration, made time out to write a note, be there for me for dinner, movie, many thanks to all.

I realized that I didn't have all the photos with me, thus I will KIV them and do a photoblog the next time round.

You made it special... just with your presence.(:



Wanted to do some readings before Jap, but my mind is refusing to work. Hello Mr Brain, stop playing mind games with me. And I'm seriously sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. This illness is taking way too long to get well, and its really taking a toll on me. )): Bad week as usual. When will my days get any better?

E-mailed Ms Bloopy today. Hasn't heard from her for such a long time. Hope all's well over her side, you are miss dearly if you are reading this!(:

On a random note, Winnie-the-pooh gives the best hugs whenever you need a pick-me-up time. Thanks 1807 for sending that angel to keep me company in 2008. Since then, it had always been there for me. Its like I'm receiving those hugs from all of you guys. It brought my memory to a particular day in 2008 which I believe the worst day of that year, I cried my heart out, and you guys stood by me, trying all ways to bring that smile back on my face. I will never forget that, and all the hugs you guys gave me. Till now, I'm still counting my blessing for meeting you awesome people, without who, I would never made it past JC.

Now, its different, a totally new story, meeting new people. But at least I still have Pooh bear there for me. Seeing him its like seeing all of you. Roomie gave me another new Pooh bear to add to it, a smaller version one. But this Pooh is very different, it has patches and stitches, like a Pooh that went through a rough patch, but emerged much stronger. She doesn't know that the baby Pooh has been my source of motivation whenever she isn't around, like right now.

I feel that I'm Eeyore now, feeling all blue and gloomy, but I have the rest of my friends in the hundred acre wood there for me. Knowing that I am not alone is enough.

Gosh, its almost time for Japanese already. Vanilla Twilight

When I think of you, I don't feel so alone... if only you know.

I'm sorry. 


Stupid Wini

Is there such thing as a clever gene? If there is, obviously I'm lacking that.

And hurray, those irritating massage parlors near my house are all gone! So obvious that there were some vice activities going on, like hello, do masseurs hang this inner garment outside their shops for all to see? Wear such skimpy clothes and only stop men for services? And what rubbish traditional chinese massage? The only thing I can see is China massage extra service. Plus those horrible man that patronize this shops, they can't keep their eyes to themselves! ):

I got stalked by this big burly guy one afternoon on my way to buy bread! Oh my, damn scary, but I stared at me for the longest time ever with the fiercest face I can muster, before walking away in super fast speed.  I so cui also want to look, eyes got stamp arh? *shivers* Whatever happen to the nice and safe environment I used to live in? And my neighbours are supposedly hounded by loan sharks too. ):

Had there been a time where by you stared so hard at a contact, composing in your mind what to say, and when you are ready, its too late?

At times I wonder if the memory that exist in my mind, does it telly with yours?

Giddy, sneezing too often in a day coupled with cough, plus too much info overload from trying to study and squeeze info into the already tired brain. ):

Rah, I want to roar out loud but now I can only managed a soft croak.): When Kevin called just now regarding the magazine sponsorship, I was struggling to speak or at least croak a little to let him know I'm still at the other end of the line. Had to resort to pressing some random spot on my neck to force out some sound, that sounds like "OK".

So much for wanting to pre-empt it I guess. Sore throat to coughing, feeling giddy now..)): Horrible horrible.

Sent out e-mail to change Men's Health to Torque, some car magazine, hopefully we can get that. Can't imagine the guys reading Her World! Hahaha :x

A sense of relief recess week is here.

It seems like my body knows when to crash. I know I had been pushing it way too hard for the last couple of weeks. The many bottles of honeysuckle and packs of lozenges ain't going to get my sore throat away now, and I'm developing cough, all this symptoms seems way too familiar, especially since I'm having headache as well. Alright, might as well, a full blast attack of bacteria and virus and then a strong recovery before the school starts, then my turn to slaughter the dreadful papers and assignments coming my way.

I shall not bow to fate, I hold the key to my future... If you don't believe, then off you go. I don't need you to be the wet blanket...
new past