There are many decisions that we have to made in life. At times, whenever I'm at the cross road and being forced to make a decision, all I want to do is to run away. After talking to some people and getting some sound advice and some pretty biased advice, I have made my decision. At times, I feel selfish. but on the other hand, why can't I be a wee bit kinder to myself? I know that deep down in my heart, this is the path I want to take, but somehow, by making this choice, it seems like I have just snatch a sweet from someone else's hand.

FOC'10 had just ended. The past year of endless meetings and planning, the many proposals we submitted, be it SAO or AIs. How the proggies "mug" the AIs before the camp, tweaking the timetable here and there, using Cheng Yang "Chilli-onion" to chase the grey skies away and the many late nights we spent doing preparations and waking up early to transport and set-up stations for the camp. All these for the new batch of Freshies. In my mind, what kept me going was to provide the freshies the best experience and best opportunity to bond. But things don't always work our way. The smell of gun powder and fiery rivalry between the OG fueled the animosity. Their only goal seems to be winning, but what they didn't see is that ultimately, we are all Hall 14 residents, we are one big family. Things I heard along the way, like how the seniors questioned our integrity when conducting the game and so on, just hurt us more. It shouldn't be like this isn't it? FOC is the 1st platform the new freshies sees us, if the seniors can't even work well, how can we strive to build a cohesive family?

In life, many things happened for a reason... Perhaps now, I'm still too short-sighted to see. But as with time, when I look back, I should be able to connect the dots.

I hope I didn't know so much. Because I don't think I'm ready. And I don't wish to hurt you either. Please give me some more time. I'm sure with time, I may be ready. With time, everything will fall in place. With time, I may see things clearer. But now, my mind is in a clutter, and heart in a jumble. So many things happened, and too many changes. I don't wish to lose the chance, but neither am I brave enough to take it up as of now. I hope you will wait, but if you can't, I won't blame you. You deserve the best, and I'm not.

When Harry had to leave, to find the Deadly Hallows to fight the Dark Lord, his parting with Ginny wasn't all kiss and tears. He didn't ask Ginny to wait for him, and she didn't demand anything from him. But they both knew that, deep down, their hearts are beating in sync. Distance will not separate them, as long as their hearts are still with one another. With that, they parted ways, asking each other to take care...

I said the wrong thing at the wrong time.

I need to talk to someone now. Someone who knows everything from the very start.

Beyond the laughter, the smile, the facade, the mask...

Look through the pair of eyes into the soul of the person. The eyes speak the truth. The denial tone you used, the lies you tell, just a look into those eyes, and you would have lost the game. The eyes are the windows to our souls...

What do you see when you look at the mirror, into those pair of eyes...

I told myself everything is going to be alright...

Words of wisdom:

Find someone not because hes nice, hot or cute, but because he is someone special, someone you can see yourself grow old with, someone who can tolerate all you eccentricities and at the end of the day love you for who you are.

I'm glad not because I have you by my side, but because every morning when I wake up, I know thats someone whom I love, loves me wholeheartedly too, and thats you. Distance cannot separate two people, if their hearts are beating in sync.

Words of a fool

He loves me, he loves me not... Does he loves me more? Or do I love him more?( stupid, love cannot be measured. It grows with time and blossoms into seeds of happiness.)

How do I know if he is the one? (There is no THE ONE. You and him make ONE.)

I believe everything is planned out. I just have to follow my heart, follow what's installed for me. Every disappointment in life is to teach me a valuable lesson. Every success cannot be followed by complacency. When one door closes, the other will open. Do not despair. No matter how dire the situation looks, if theres a will, theres a way out of it all.

Hope, pray, wish that the new year will be a greater beginning... You too my friend. (:

She was indeed someone from a different world. A class of their own- the elite class...

Nonetheless, I enjoyed myself at the full dress rehearsal of the YOG. For the 1st time, I actually felt that we can showcase Singapore on the international stage... Although it wasn't perfect, can't hold a candle to China, at that moment, all I felt was pride for the nation. The location, set up on the floating platform, was amazing. The city skyline- with the MBS on the left and the sky scrapers and Merlion Park on the right and the stage on the Singapore River. The perfect use of the water fountain and the clever usage of water dance in the shallow parts showed our innovation. The energetic dance of from the Youth and the multi-coloured costumes showing our rojak mixed of people. Uniquely Singapore's "o-ya-pei-ya-shom-ba-leh-ya-roti-prata-cha-kuay-tiao" made it to the stage as the little children pranced happily on stage. Though they weren't very prepared, with minor and 1 major hiccup, it was still entertaining...

The rain did little to dampen the spirit and pride that Singaporeans had... The loudest cheer was reserved for us, and us only. ((:

Work, at last.. Pretty easy job for the amount they are paying. Came back home with a bag full of gummy bears and jacobs' biscuits. It was easy entertaining the crowd, the little ones can be a handful, but nonetheless still sweet angels! (: The worst were not the "gian-peng" aunties but rather the highly irritating advisers.

Seriously, we were PAID by our events company and only take their instructions. Don't you boss us around or force us to take your instructions. Seriously... If you want contacts, please go down to the ground and make contact. Stop leeching off the contacts we garnered at our booth. Seriously, these agents are sooo irritating. They cut queue to get freebies for their potential clients, attempt to steal clients at our booth, and obstruct our operations by parking themselves infront of the the redemption counter. D: And obviously, why would we be willing to work for you guys... Plus, there is nothing to be proud off, earning 5K after being in this industry for 10 years. If your start-up pay was 2.5K, it only works out to be $250 increase a year. Is that enough to cover inflation?

Tired feet but heavier pockets= happier Wini with less worries.

Smiling and entertaining the crowd wasn't that tough. My 1st attempt at flyer distribution was fun too, trying to make eye contact and smile work wonders. It helped that there were a few cute guys around. Haha. Nonetheless, the work being a station master at one of the carnival game booth was much more fun. Seeing kids and "kids" of various ages being entertained and enjoying themselves brought lots of joy. ((: All worth it. The long hours of standing, morning rides to work and busting my weekend.

Wanted to blog but brain is too tired. :/ Such philosophical topics like needs VS wants should be left to a later date. On the other hand, perhaps it should just be left in the drafts.

Recent dreams kept me in a difficult position. The reason why I don't wish to dream and why I wish to dream is the same. Such irony. Can I learn to build me own dreams?

Sun kissed my skin and left the markings behind. It hurts like hell, even though I spammed Sunblock lotion. Guess the sun loves me too much. My neighbour commented that I looked very tanned and that the rest of my family are very fair. :/ Thanks for the comparison.

Cycled with Cera and Cheryl today at ECP. Cera darling is back from Korea!(: But too bad, her school starts next week. Poor thing! Glad we met up today even though it meant more beatings from Cheryl! Met Rachel for dinner at  Holland V. Arh.. Missed her much too, had a great chat and a great laugh. Karma, I fear.

Roomie made me smile this morning. Her simple sms just showed me how much she loves me! haha. ((:

Cycled all my worries away...~
new past