Its hard to go on like nothing happen when your whole life is in a tumble.

When you have so many things going on, and you have to act like nothing.

When you are suffocating, and need a breather.

When all you wanna do is to run to the end of the world and stay there hidden till the storm is over.

But you can't, because you have to stay strong for someone else.

Because you know the moment you are down, their whole world will come crushing down too...

Press on, the storm will be over.

"Give me a call soon"- the msg that got my inside all twisted up.



叉叉熊只会对这那片天空，跟在天堂的妈妈说
“一切都好。”
然后把小手轻轻地抚摸他的心。
他坚持最伤痛的地方要用最美丽的方式去抱扎。
含着泪水，看着浮面在河边的倒影。

你身旁也许也有一个叉叉熊，你察觉到了吗？

Getting in touch with my inner peace.

I didn't know that the words can hit me that hard. Somehow, I was amazed that I can still function properly after hearing it. Perhaps the more scared one is, the more vulnerable one gets, the more the person will try to hide these flaws.

I just pray hard that my guardian angel is looking out for me somewhere out there. For now, I really need the strength to make the decision. It was merely a suggestion, but I fear the outcome.

If I have told you about it, please keep it to yourself. If I haven't told you, please don't probe alright? I just need some time to think through. Wini will be strong for people who still needs her. (:

Why can't it get any better? ):

It feels weird to see the words I said before being quoted and told to another as encouragement. It made me think, did my words made you feel better and thus you decided to pass them on to the next person to help them tide through the trying period? (:

As I looked upon those words. So familiar yet so distant. Why had I been able to say that to someone, but not to myself?

Taylor swift- Mine

Oh, oh,oh

Oh, oh oh

You were in college, working part-time, waiting tables
Left a small town and never looked back
I was a flight risk, afraid of fallin'
Wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts

I say, "Can you believe it?"
As we's lyin' on the couch
The moment, I can see it
Yes, yes, I can see it now

Do you remember, we were sittin' there, by the water?
You put your arm around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine.

Flash forward, and we're takin' on the world together
And there's a drawer of my things at your place
You learn my secrets and figure out why I'm guarded
You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes

But we got bills to pay
We got nothin' figured out
When it was hard to take
Yes, yes

This is what I thought about:

Do you remember, we were sittin' there, by the water?
You put your arm around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine.

Do you remember all the city lights on the water?
You saw me start to believe for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine.

Oh, oh, oh, oh

And I remember that fight, two- thirty AM
You said everything was slipping right out of our hands
I ran out, crying, and you followed me out into the street.

Braced myself for the goodbye, cause that's all I've ever known
Then, you took me by surprise
You said, "I'll never leave you alone."

You said, "I remember how we felt, sitting by the water.
And every time I look at you, it's like the first time.
I fell in love with a careless man's careful daughter.
She is the best thing that's ever been mine."

You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine.

Do you believe it?
We're gonna make it now
And I can see it

I can see it.

If only..its true. (:

I pasted a clear piece of scotch tape on my spec case one year ago. I never removed it because I kept forgetting about it, and when I remembered it, I'm no where near the bin. Today, when I took out my case, I saw that the tape had somehow formed a letter on it. It was "Y". Somehow I think it seems to sum up my feelings perfectly. Having just started Yr2, I'm still facing with a lot of choices, a lot of questions to answer and a lot of questions left unanswered.

There are many times I wondered "Y". But the questions, I shan't post up here. There are also times when I think of "Y", a series of other questions will pop out, and making my current situation looking more dire than it can be. Many "if" left me regretting my past actions. Thus, to stop myself feeling guilty with the "Y" questions, I must change my mindset and "GET THINGS MOVING".

Move on, no point turning back. We can't change the past, but we can write our future, because we are going to create it with our decisions made today. One thing learnt in Econs, our actions today can affect our future profit. Likewise, I shall "invest" more time and effort now, to reap the "profit" in future. Shall not forgo my chance to invest and regret not getting the dividend and earn the interest rate over the period.

Positive thinking from now on. Sweep those negative thought under the map, they shall stay there till I'm ready to face them again.

- Milftoof (www.mymilktoof.blogspot.com)

Roomie, this picture reminded me of the 2 of us. Piling things onto our bed and sleeping peacefully beside one another at night. Feels comforted knowing that after a long hard day in school, theres always you in the room to cheer me up a little. Promise you that I will be back in functioning siao char bo mode soon. <3 you.

'share with me all ur troubles and feelings. I want to hear u k. Don't keep it to urself and jack'- thanks. (:

Death

It came so suddenly.
Little, poor Little. He died on Tuesday, while I was out clubbing.
Had him since I was Sec 3, one of the twin that Garlic bore towards her end of her life.
He had been a bundle of joy since then. Having to bear the sadness of having his little sister and mum to depart before him, he seems to possess this zest for life that make the death of my other piggies much easier to bear knowing he is still around.
But now, even he has chosen to leave me alone... Didn't get to say my good bye, and how much I regretted that towards the end of his life, I hardly had time for him. Been busy with FOC, moving into hall and starting of school. Facing death alone without his owner by his side is probably the saddest thing, no comforting words, no proper goodbye. I miss his whining and squealing so very much.
Joel asked me if I will get another. My reply was, how can you replace someone so special in my heart.? It will take time to heal, and for now, I hope Little is happy in the piggy heaven. May he be reunited with his sister and mother.

Cherish the ones most special before its too late. Cliche I know, but true nonetheless.

Knowing, unknowing

Had my 1st proper club experience. As expected, its dance, drinks, jiak bak. Seen the best of some people and the worst of many. The traumatizing scene just kept popping in my mind. I was lucky that a good Samaritan came and blocked me from any further harm. Goodness, had I not known him for so long, would have labeled him my hero. Nonetheless, told him added a lot of points for him. Haha. Going to help him search for his angel!


Between knowing and unknowing, I choose the latter... At least ignorance provides temporary shelter and bliss.

Nostalgia

The video brought back many memories. As the video went on, my heart string tugged sadly with the tune. Those were the days, the carefree us with no fear for the future. Daring, Determination, Discernment, Disciplined, and Duty. These are the values which we embrace and differentiate us from the others.

Meet up with the people who made my Secondary School life so awesome. The boys still remain as boyish as ever. Wai Kit with his goofy smile and questioning me about my uni/private life. Pei Ren with his distinctive voice and the target for all our sabotage. Zong Bao with his usual "I don't know" & "anything" vibes. Nadiah, my beloved 3-third. Wanyin, my 1-third. And Zubaidah, the energy bunny!(: Some of them are unable to make it. Oh well, we have to meet up real soon! All of us were talking about the video I tagged them in. I guess they feel the same way as me...

It had been 4 years since we graduated. We had spent 4 years together, training in the sun, learning to field cook, doing knots and lashing, getting scolded and receiving punishment. The blood, tears and sweat shared only made us much closer. We are a family. ((: And will always be.

Some friends come and go. Those who stick around the longest are the ones you should never let go. Cheers to our friendship. Many more years to come.

Taking a trip down memory lane
Things have changed One thing remains
That they will always have each other
And even though those days have gone
They know here is where they belong
Theres some kinda magic in the air--- Olivia Ong

Walking

I have always like walking. Squeezing into a crowded bus to get to my destination is not my thing, unless its a long journey and my 2 legs will die if I attempt to walk.

Walked the familiar route home today, the same path I took whenever I returned home from school in the past. Thinking back, the only other person I had walked this path with other than my family is Mushroomy. When we held on to our bubbletea and grumbled about school, about tutors, about everything, and the many laughters we shared. I missed you Shroomy! This path is actually the longer route. I guess I didn't brought him to take this path with me because in case things don't work out, I can still walk this path and not think about it. As I reached the crossroad, I looked over at the shorter path that we took the other 2 times. I just wondered, why me? But Mushroomy told me that there is no such thing as Why. I guess its an uncontrollable feeling that can't be explained. Many thoughts ran through my mind.

I'm still not brave enough. I don't wish to be tied down. At this time, I guess, finding my textbooks should be top priority. Perhaps, I shouldn't be that selfish. :/ The fridge in my room just constantly remind me that I ought to be kinder... Hope my smile made your day, at least. Thanks for everything. I really appreciate it a lot. (:

3rd day of school.

I'm still coughing away... It feels as if my lungs are going to be coughed out any minute. Went to see the doctor yesterday and gotten some medication. $17.15! )): School just started and I'm broke. Next will be sourcing out for textbook..

Those smses kind of made my day.(: Hall life makes everything a little bit more bearable. At least I made lot of awesome friends.
new past