Sometimes when you don't talk, it doesn't mean you ain't thinking about it.

Sometimes you talk a lot, just to mask the fact of the many other things you are thinking about that you don't wish to tell the others.

But sometimes, all I want is to not talk at all, away from anyone and just let the thoughts come alive. Even if I were to wallow in self pity...

So please don't force me alright? Like a mimosa, the more you force me, the more I will retreat into my inner core and never face the light again.

Rain drops

The rhythmic sound of the rain drops syncing with the heart pounding.
An emotion stirring in the depths of the soul.

Memories marred with questions and uncertainties.
The rain seem to wash over them,
clearing away the dirt,
revealing what's beneath.

Lies are intertwined with the truth.
Only the clear headed and pure hearted can see through.
Don't be fooled by what's told and what's seen,
for the ears and eyes could be tricked by the many disguises.

As the rain drops bounced off the skin lightly,
the heavy burden seemed to be lifted off the shoulders
ever so lightly...
ever so lightly...

The temporary relief, the temporary retreat,
to the world unknown to others
but only to me.

But when the rain stopped
Reality crash the soul,
suffocating it, bringing an abrupt halt to the internal train of thoughts.

Theres a rainbow of hope.
Somewhere out there, after the rain.
Visible but unreachable.

Life continues even if you stop,
nothing changed
before and after the rain.

Train to school

The pair of old folks boarded the train. I didn't notice the old man at 1st, and since the gentleman beside me gave up his seat for the old woman, I remained seated while playing solitaire. Then I saw him, and got up hastily and gave up my seat, without much thought. They thanked us profusely and appeared embarrassed.

Just then, I just wished that whenever my aged parents board the train, some kind soul will offer their seats to them as well. (I'm guilty of staring at young people with the deadly stares to get seats for my parents. HAHA)

Before they reached their destination, they got off their seats and insisted that we returned to our seats. They only seem happy after me and the said gentleman were comfortably back on our seats. Such a cute couple.

I hope when I grew old, I will be like them.

Days as Quasimono

Google if you have no idea who I am talking about. I thought having a cough/flu was bad enough, sniffing-blowing coughing every 5 seconds. Went to the doctor in JP (lost hope in NTU's one) and got 5 DIFFERENT medicine. But being a good patient, or simply too sick to protest, I took the 5 different medicine and went to sleep. Woke up feeling sicker. Called mum and she said "YOU SOUND TERRIBLE", cue for me to skip lessons and go straight home.

Face started showing some red itchy swells, looking like mosquito bites. Dismissed it, until it started to form an ugly patch on my left cheek. Oh my, started whining about disfigured, but mum said may not be that serious. Sleep through the night only to wake up with a swollen right eye, swollen right ear, swollen right cheek and swollen right neck! D: I looked hideous.! Just want to cry. Didn't know if its going to be permanent and want to cry. Mum brought me to the doctor who said I got an allergic reaction to one of the medication. )))): OH MY. 1st time ever. Had new medication for my cough/flu and to purge out the med that is causing me to look like an elephant man. It was only then that I realize how important looks are to a person. I don't aspire to be some beauty queen, I just wish to be normal. Those stares at the clinic, I don't think I can stand such scrutiny on a day-day basis. ):

Thank goodness swelling went down. And I think the lousy doc in JP gave me extra dosage of anitbiotics. 480mg- 2 tablets, 2 times daily. ))))): Ask me before going, I will tell you which clinic it is.
new past