the mushroom even got blusher!! =DD plus a love note too!!

I have the well wishes from thw whole cg 18/07! and when i laid out all the items of the day, it was like i m having a store at a flea market!.

by the time i lunged all this home, i got stares from so many people. I think they thought i was lunging bombs or something. and my dad was superb amused with all my presents!! lolx.

And today i got a belated bday gift from chiahow. its a Bear from built a bear workshop called Wini. hahaha. =DD

yeah yeah!! so happy. all the love love presents!! =DDD i shall blog about my family presents and dinner the next time!! too tired!! =DD cya!

march holidays came and is going soon, and my holidays are spent at home studying. oh well, at least its the most productive holiday, though i think my results for MCT will be a sad case.

went nus open house. must really thank nolinkfishy qianying for going with me to nus earlier to listen to the law talk. yes yes! and we even got lost in the early parts of the day when we were finding our way to the venue as we took the wrong shuttle bus! =XX hahah. the bukit timah campus is sososososososososo PRETTY... Awww.. so now i should work my ass to really really do well. Read the saturday news that NOW, it is going to be so TOUGH to get in uni, let alone those super super hot faculty. =( sobx. Need leadership, initiate an activity, sports and internship to boost SP too. i only got about 2 of the above, and there are so many others who have all 4 above plus straight As.=(

feeling damn moody these days. no idea why, just feel really really weird. AND i m really feeling quite disgusted over something. =((

I FELL SICK DURING THE HOLIDAYS!! how nice.. Lost my voice, trying to make weird noise with what little "voice" i had left and all i got is weird pronunciations.=X oh bother.

Went NTU economics talk on Saturday. It was lectures after lectures for the whole day.! i didnt even know what hell i had signed up for. And i fell asleep for one of the lectures! ok, i m really guilty, because i don't fall asleep for lect, even if i m really tired. and according to Jiayi, me sleeping is like a phenomenal and she will probably win 4D, yeah, thanks. Remember to share half the winnings with me=XX

We went to the NTU open house as well. Lunge back information sheets on the courses available and stuff like that. Was kindof interested in a few courses, at least now i m not as confused of what i want for my future. Kor also talked to me that night about Uni courses, it was kindof funny, because he was Damn serious when he was talking to me, and i m so not used to it! haha. but thanks Bro!

Bohohoh. Cg going swensens today to spend the voucher we gotten from Dodgeball and i will be stuck at home with a horrible inflammed throat. =( sobx.!! i bet its that Laksa yong tofu i ate on Friday plus a whole week of screaming at the top of my lungs. =(

as days past, it became clearer and clearer what i want, but its just so hard to talk to anyone about it.

woosh~ at last, the week had ended. Such a tiring, mentally and physically exhausting week. Waking up so early and sleeping so late each day. And having to PUT UP with so many UNFAIRNESS in a week. BOO. i am really mad/pissed/sad/etc.

I think i need to find an avenue to let out all my pent-up frustration.! Really, if not i may just go berserk. I think maybe i shall channel all my energies to Studying and be a MUGGER. Anyway,the sports people in our school had this really nice sports shirt with their pdp name over it. Then Mr tan said i should have one too, with the word MUGGER. Thanks arh mr tan.. =(( Even though i really like the shirt, i will not wear it if mine is written MUGGER. hoho. i think i PREFER TIMETABLE CLUB!! hahahah=XX

feeling really really exhausted and yet relief the weekends are coming. Going to NTU tmr for the econs lecture there with lameface Jiayi and my mortal yuang. Hope its fun. =)) and Tmr is NTU open house, so maybe i will be super motivated to study after going there! hahah=XX

A week past since the start of SC nominations, i shan't comment more, but i just want to say, the whole thing is sucking both my energies and time, returning home late and feeling lousy over it. but i hope that all this will pay off!! =)) must remain optimistic, even though there maybe disappointment now, i really really hope our efforts pay off.

Dodgeball- both a disaster and blessing. Disaster because history repeat itself, the frisbee accident last year replayed itself. well, i believe in sports and everything, integrity is the most important. And deep down in our hearts, we all know who are the true winners, though we had gotten 4th, i believe the event had also brought our cg closer( blessing!!) especially when we cheered togther and got pissed together too! Hm.. i didnt get to play though. =(( but its ok, im not a good player either. =)) played V-ball after that, got laugh at because i look very funny when i chased the ball around, and i shot the ball past the tennis court fence. =DD hahaha. And Xiangrui, dont think i don't know you say i look like "Ah Meng" ok?

a while ago, when i was listening to the radio, i heard this phrase which set me thinking very deeply. "i like you not because of who you are, but who i am when i am with u" You like a person because you feel comfortable talking to that person, not afraid to show yourself, your true self and thats why you feel the attraction to be with that someone. maybe its true, i dont know. How bout you?

and i keep thinking, who makes me feel this way.? =DD

MY PHONE CRASH THIS MORNING AFTER I WAS READING THROUGH THE MSGS! SOBX. and i lost so many many contacts...=(( have to use my back up phone for now. sad way to begin a new week.

yesterday was our 1st GM with the nominees. well, i shant comment much, but if feel kindof sad. Nominations shouldn't be like tt.. no. Disappointed. I dont want the 31st to be affected by the new nominees. we can overcome this together. We had been through so much. Jiayou 31st. Jiayou all committees. And jiayou to my dear disc. comm and co-i/c sweeliang! =))

Still aching from standing so long yesterday. went to suntec after that for the career fair. Was a real disappointment. oh well, i hope the NUS open house would be much much better! =))

i m still in a lousy mood because of my phone..=(( RAH!

i m so pissed with the sch ad***!! so last minute, treat us with some repect! we serve the school, but not some last min maid/servant?

Came back home late today doing some mtp duty, which is quite redundant because the parents know where to go and we had so few people doing it. Then stayed back a little later helping the Sc nom Admin comm-eve,ryan,jinzhi and jiayi(lameface!) hoho. Had fun together joking, fooling around and just gossiping about everything! hoho =XX

OK!i m like so dead tired and tmr is going to be one long long day! going to schoo in the morn at 7.40! n i cant believe i m still blogging.. haha. then going with my darling 18/07 to suntec for the career fair! yippe~ =)) though i think i may just ZZZzz on my way there and back.. too tired to talk or anything.

i m in a super sleepy mode while writing this blog. Yup. my eye bags are getting more n more visible. a cause for rejoice?

18/07 going to enter the class mtv contest thing.! yeah. im sure xinjun did his best in singing! so many retakes because all of us will burst out laughing before before he finished because the lyrics are really funny.
the lyrics (the order maybe wrong) sang to the tune " on the ___ day of christmas my true love gave to me..."

On the 25th day in TJ, my college gave to me
25, 18 rocking
24, calvin niaoing
23, philine feeling
22, zhihui kc
21, randy's cherie
20, professor meijing
19,cheryl poking
18, orh lang jiamin (burst out laughing here all the time, sorry jiamin! =))
17, laoda yiying
16, louis burping
15, jolyn dancing
14, xiumin sao-ing
13, yulan shaking
12, donglin sleeping
11, randy eating
10, winifred
9, mushroom fengyi
8, Kingkong roaring
7, Tujin studying
6, Chia how singing
5... Tan Qian Ying (BOOM)
4. tricia
3, yu ang
2 ong junmin
and a xiang rui with a jiayi.

Had much fun taking the pictures for the mtv too. I had to pose with a hot pink umbrella. I look so comical!>.< was so paiseh when i was taking the picture.! The rest of the pics were equally hilarious! hope we win again this time.! the YOG picture win was totally random, but we still won! yeah.

CT was looking really down during our GP lesson, wonder what is wrong with him today. hope everything is fine, it feels really weird for us to console him, and yet we really would like too. hope he get back his groofy smile and happy enthusiatic him tmr! =DD jiayou!!

i feeling very very na men since tues and even more on weds. I really dont know why m i feeling like tt. Maybe its true, ignorance is bliss, then perhaps, i wouldn't be feeling like this now.=((

i had one great weekend! hohoho. brought my parents to see the terminal 3. haha. acted like some mountain tortoise, but who cares? lolx. then we went metro expo sale!! i saw a dress and bought it because it is really lovely. OK.. it is UNUSUAL for a manly,bimbotic and motherly wini to buy a dress, but yea i bought a dress. ahahah.=XX
After that we had dinner at the Macau express cafe! u guys should go and have a try. My 3rd trip there and each time i wnet, it is NEVER a disappointment! hohoh. love the food there. Had a fun time with my parents and glad to find them still pretty loving after so many year. hohoho. i was like the big lightbulb whose job is to carry the purchases but i m not complaining. it is just great to be with them! though, it feels weird without my sister with me. usually its me and her, mum and dad. today is like mum and dad, and me. well.. its ok! i have to get use it!

yeahness. heard a superb superb good news!! cant wait for friday to come! its going to be a blast!! i miss u loads!!!=)))

my friday didnt turn out sad and miserable though despite the fact i cant go Jurong Island. haha. Had a meeting with the D. comm members. yup. We covered quite alot in that one hour. yeah yeah!!=)) way to go guys! Then after meeting, it was off to Tampines to watch Jumper with "wo ai de ren" aka Ms png zhi yuan! haha. When we were living school, met kangyu who acted angry with me for going on "date" with zhiyuan. Was very funny, because after he said that, i just laugh then said she chose me, then zhiyuan grab my arm and we left. hoho. Sorry dude. =XX

Jumper was a great movie. It was a thriller and quite action-packed. It was also quite romantic in a way, if you watched it already, you will know what i m talking about. If not, catch it yourself, no spoilers here!=X hoho. After the movie, it was about 6. And i had another movie, p.s. i love you to watch with my darling 18/07 ppl at 7. hahah. 2 movies in a day! spoilt myself to the max! haha. zhiyuan left after sending me to lameface,tri,meepok,style,mushroom,jinjin,dong,oilspill,laogao&airen. Then off "wo ai de ren" to find "ta ai de ren". lolx. i know sounds very confusing but it has links to the 1st para! =X P.S. i love you was pretty ok, except that at some parts, it gets a little too draggy.perhaps i m not the romantic kindof person, though i think i may like someone like Gerry to be my husband! lolx. However, compared to Jumper, i think Jumper is more worth the money. For both movies, my spoilt nose decided to block the 2 nostrils so i had to gulp for air through my mouth. =( Had a super late dinner after that which is a piece of carrot cake. didnt want to eat much, having pt the next morning.

Today went back to school for GM! 8.30, but it started near to 9. Was PT first thing in the morn. We went to lucky heights the reverse way. Thought was quite a good idea. Though the upslope was steeper, i thought that it kindof feel shorter. hoho. my ankle almost gave way up there, but thanks to ziko who kept giving me encouragement and constantly asked if i was ok. hoho. In the end, i made it back to TJ in one piece, no accident! haha. for a person who is superb accident prone, it was an achievement, however it didnt last long, when i went to the toilet after that, i got hit on the head by the door. -.-" After PT, we had GM in Seminar room 111. It was super cold inside and my nose "froze". I cant breathe and had to use my mouth again. it was a relief to be out the room. Hoho. Mrs loke gave us haobao made of felt. Feels nice. Inside the Haobao though its 2 gold coin chocolates. after returning to SC room, found out junmin(meepok) attempted to call me. She wanted to come back school to collect our GP package because Mr cal tan need it on mon. So i went to tell the auntie to wait for her. lolx, i kindof spoiled the uncle's plan to leave early because he looked evidently sadder after his wife agreed to wait. SORRY! Then i missed meepok when she came. I was vibration proof so didn't realize she called me. she had to carry everything home. Felt so bad, because she could have left it in my locker! =( sorry meepok for being so vibration proof. Then after the mass dance, went with some of the 31st to the "hippest" aka KFC to have our lunch. there goes all our effort in PT.

Mum went m'sia today, so i had the house to myself the whole day. Felt so pig, slept like one when i reached home.My dog did exactly the same too. found him sleeping beside me when i woke up on the sofa in the living room. haha. was kindof cute, he imitating what i am doing! hoho. Mum just came back no long ago! she bought me a super cute hp pouch, a ducky head one! hoho. She noticed my hp pouch is giving way, so, yeah! now i have a new hp pouch! hoho.=DD all smiles.

Everything seems great so far, hope it stays this way!=DD

just when i want to blog, my stupid internet connection is lost, so currently i m just typing while my connection is trying to re-connect itself.

for civics yesterday, all the J2 classes are supposed to report to either LT1 or LT2 for a sexuality talk, on the difference between men and women and so on and so forth, and we aint supposed to blog anything about it. But i guess, i cant possibilty blog anything about it, because practically throughout the whole talkshow thing, me and yuang was talking. Well, its not ouyr fault that we opted to chat instead of listening. Because, judging by the faces of those who are listening, they are either 1.sleeping 2. looking bored 3.staring in space. so well.. i rather spent my time more "wisely". hoho. But it was fun talking to Lao Gao. yea, we were having our own debate about Guys and Girls and what we look for in our future partners. haha. at least he understands what type of guys i like because he watched "xian jian qi xia zuan" also! hohoho

After Civics, the few of us namely, jiayi, tri, nolink, mushroomfengyi, tujin and me went to LT2 for the talk about overseas universities. Well.. in the end, didnt manage to hear anything either, due to bad geographical location(back of LT) and was chatting with mushroomfengyi. Then i realised Tujin and Fengyi like to "hug" themselves or cross their arms, so i told them this is negative body language, then the next moment, they spread their arms around and look so -.-". I didnt know who to respond... hohohoh.

Had chem spa today at 5.15 pm, such weird timing, but the majority of the cls decided to just study/slack/sing/etc in our GP(last period) classroom till 5.15pm. Seriously, 18/07 nice class to have fun, but not the most condusive ppl!! hahaha.=X and i heard weird noises too! hohoh..

Now i m trying to do the econs proj, but my mind in a swirl, no idea why, feel abit floaty too. And my stupid nose, one nostril stuck, the othe itchy! arh! irritating.>.<

Tmr going to be one sad sad day. Majority of cls gg jurong island while some miserable souls like me will be stuck in school. =(( namely, triee, xr, laogao, dong, jiayi and me. RAH! it isnt fun at all not going. BOHOHO. i want to go! sobZ='(

i shall get back to work, and stop slacking and slothing. woosh~

i m so so so so super clumsy. Actually, i was kindof feeling quite happy to run today because we are running outside school instead of track, and today's weather is really scorching so we are kindof in the shade if we run the Gate-Gate route. So i was happy running at my own pace for the 1st round and ALAS! i fell down at the bend and sprain my ankle. Oh gosh, but i continue to run hoping the pain would fade away, it just got worse, and i manage to scrap a pass in the end, with the help of a Delta girl who ran the last leg with me, hope to see her again to say a BIG thankyou!=))

Dropping my maths to H1 isnt such a bad thing after all. At least, i feel that now i have a wee bit more confident in dealing maths sum. Yup, though i m still really unfamiliar with the workings of my H1 class, i think they are pretty nice people who are very outspoken, so each lesson is quite engaging and fun. I really hope i can arrange a time with the tutor to clarify about STATs, cause currently, i m just trying to learn myself, which apparently, i think i made lots of assumption and aint sure if it is right anot. =((

With more events coming up like SC norm, SC camp and Mardi Gras, i really hope i utilize all the spare time i have now, then to pile up and fret at the last min. hoho.

And i just saw the timeline for SC norm, their voting date starts on my birthday, wich means i cant go to celebrate my bday. OHno...=( sobx. nevermind then.

A day spent with 18/07 is a happy day! hahah..=)) automatically brightens up my day.

Recieved a damn random msg today in school. feeling na men over it. isnt it obvious i dont want to reply? i know i m being bad, but i just can't force myself to.

Just hope to be happy everyday! ooh.. so HIM today after PE! ahaha.. ok, i m huachi-ing, u can ignore! X)

had the sudden urge to blog, but my mind is blank.

Been pondering and thinking pretty deeply these days.


I reckon that my lousy mood these days are caused by what i see and feel, and yet i find it hard to tell somebody else, because no one can feel exactly what I m feeling. They probably brush off what i want to say, and embark on their own stories. I dont blame them, i mean, my problems or thoughts probably isnt worth that much thought or effort in listening.

i yearn to watch the sunrise at a beautiful beach, to see the beginning of something lovely, the start of a miracle, and to have someone by the side who will understand and see the beauty nature creates. the miracle created everyday, that everyone is rushing off too fast too observed.

Somehow I don't where to start my blog.

I realized my life has became so structured. My life is being surrounded by ONLY these few things, and yet I can't even seems to get anything right. It feels horrible. Time isnt on my side. It feels as if I had lost a good friend, like Time had forsaken me, leaving me struggling to complete my work as Time run faster and faster from me.

I no longer feel like myself anymore. Like im enclosed in this exterior shell that is shielding me from the external harm that may come my way, and yet the internal shelf screams to be let out. Im confused, unsure what lies ahead of me, if I m able to deal with it, and yet i know i still have to face it, whatever it is. I fear the unknown, and yet the unknown excites me. I m such a contradictory person.

iknowthatthisfeelingsucksbutihopethatfromnowonthisisthslasttimeimfeelingthiswayeverythingshouldworkoutfine

I was once intrigued by the beauty of a butterfly, something so small yet so graceful. And the multicoloured wings. To me, they were one of the best art nature had ever done.


i'm beginning to realize i dont even know myself.

I had just survived my 2nd week in school, OR should i re-phrase, its my 1st week in school (involved in REAL school work) because the 1st week, i was running about school busy with orientation. WEE~ Zenith 08 rocks! Though i MUST STRESS i will NEVER EVER WISH to cut ANY GARBAGE BLINDFOLDS again! They can drive me freaking crazy! Worst then those Grad nite slips of paper i cut during the Nov holiday. I guess only Zhiyuan and Amira can understand what i m taking about.!

My 1st week (orientation week)
Starting from Weds, i got superb lack of sleep, so i was like "high-ing" a moment, sleepy the next moment. But i guess the orientation was a BLAST! Esp the Suntec Mass Dance, the 31st simply went crazy, we ran around the fountain for countless time, cheering all the cheers and simply just being crazy. haha. We were having so much fun, for a moment, the thought of completing holiday homework just flown out of my mind. But the serious lack of sleep certainly took a toll on me and i made up by waking super late on Sunday.=X

2nd week
Argh. Was a really scary week and i can't believe i m already "chiong-ing" homework to way past mid night already, and they are TUTORIALs, not some forgotten/lost in the pile holiday homework. Gah. And stupid me, went to do maths assignment 1 & 2 and stupidly think that the tutor will go through slowly, only to realize that what we really NEED to hand in is assignment 4! Horrors, but thank god, we need not and in that soon, if not, i m DEAD meat.
Had 2 tests in the 2nd week already, namely the horrifying chem and maths test. *praying that i pass them*
I felt the pace was too fast, all the tutors were stressing that year 2 will be really hectic, and i can feel it already. I was too slack in my yr1. =((
I must have more confidence, better time management and jiayou this year! woot. i must HUAT this year! =)))) lolx

*ps: i heard this on the radio "if you really like someone, then do things that the person will like or like doing. It got me thinking. When one is in love, one will tend to do things that will please the others. Just by looking at the other's smile is enough. Love is silly* lalalala.

Stop saying I m a hsifratS, because i m not. I m myself! ahaha=X

been soooooooooooooooooooo long since i last blog.

thats because i m
1. busy
2.work
3.too much things happen!

had fun today doing cip with 18/07 ppl at Andrew and Grace home.! mr lau came to visit us as well! =)) we had pack-lunch which was fried rice with one pathetic prawn, but the feeling of everyone sitting together having lunch was great. We were really tired n famished cleaning, we were like gathered in a circle, gobbling down the food and discussing bout the chalet nxt week. cant wait.! yahness.
We were trying to rake leaves at the car park with the impossible rakes they gave us. the rakes have no teeths! n it making the irritating "chi chi chi" sound, which hence made me and junmin to create our own "storm" music with the rakes.! haha. yulan also get fed up with the impossibles and picked the leaves with her hands. leaves just keep falling when the wind blows, so we were endless sweeping throwing sweeping throwing. =(
the guys were pruning the brushes. i guess they had fun chopping the twigs with leaves using the axes. At least it looks more fun than raking! ahha. but i think they gt injured as well.
At the end, we took photo with Uncle chai, the uncle who stayed with us and help us throughtout the whole thing. he was nice, but he was LATE in the morning, n made us stand in the hot sun, but he bought us mineral water! haha..
After that, fengyi, junmin and me went to junmin's house to do SOMEONE'S present! hahah. had a fun time "fren-hopping" in friendster as well. =P
overall, it had been a great day! i guess i miss the days i can slack around during holiday with nothing to worry. oh well.

haha. i hadn't been updating my blog for so long. tsk tsk.

i m so UNPRODUCTIVE throughout this holiday! yes. i m. SLOTH! i better cut some slack n get some work done.

hohoho. nxt week is sure going to be a busy busy week. grad nite prep, ogl induction, ccf concert, ogl induction, gradnite prep.! repetitive, but sure going to keep me busy busy busy!

the week after... internship! yup from 3dec to 28 dec. so exciting n excited! hahah. wonder what will i b doing. this is sur going to keep me bzbzbzbz throughout the dec. n grad nite is on te 4dec. its the final showdown.

i realize my creative juices seems to have been drained recently. i don't know why, just a random thought. but my day dreams are still endless!

BUT i m sick!!=((

have to smile more for the positive energy! ahaha..

BYE~

lemme recap what i had been doing! hahah..

last friday, dear 1807 went to sing K together. 20++ people packed into a small room. floor, sofa, everywhr, packed like sardine. but i must say, it was fun. it was the 1st time i can feel camaraderie, the bond between the whole cg. yup. though its a pity not the whole cg can turn up. do hope to have more such opportunities to bond our cg! =))
Went ajisen to eat after that. hadn't been to that place after my 1st horrifying experience of overly salty food, but surprise! they used much lesser salt that day( is it because of the price of salt had risen?) hehe. i was like on budget so only ate the ala carte ramen n not the set meal. oh man.. =(( sobs. but its ok, now that i know they use less salt, i may pop over more often. ahhaha=D

Saturday.. hmm. i realize i dont remember anything from saturday! gasps! oh man. what did i do arh... tsk tsk.. must be nothing eventful.. ahahah. =X

Sunday.. was uneventful as well, until i recieve a msg from jo. she told me she was queueing for donuts n ask me if i wanted some. so sweet yeah. thanks girl! i m enjoying my donuts.! haha. n because blur me is bad at estimation of timing, i was late n i ran there. oh my, my slipper was new so i got blisters which looks like two teeth marks.! ahhah.but thanks girl! =)) hehe..

Monday. was supposed to be eventful!! supposed to watch lust caution, but as i said SUPPOSED to. haix. so fed up. so sorry jiayi, had to ps u. =(( oh well.
n my uneventful day continues. now at home chionging out I&R. tomorrows the submission date!

PW is going to end soon. i don't know why but i guess i will kindof miss doing pw. oh no! i think i m becoming crazy.. lalalalalalalala..

hm i m alone at home.mum n sis went M'sia, dad still out, bro still out. sad. just finished chionging out the wr. woah. tmr must hand in already... how "exciting"! hahaha..

whenever i m alone at home, i will start to turn on all the lights in the house, make it bright and cheery, turn on the radio or tv, to make some "human" voices so i dont feel so alone. haha. stupid right? but i had been doing this ever since i was left alone at home when i was young. old habits die hard, yea? haha. jack is superb cute, accompanying me. =)) heex.

Mum called back just now, i was so engrossed with wr that i didnt realize it was 8pm. n i hadn't had dinner, so i chiong downstairs n bought mac in record timing! got home in like 10-15 minutes, gave myself more time to eat, but was disrupted by derek, passing me my bro's stuff and tt yakult auntie who came to sell me yakult every thursday.

It so quiet. haix. miss the voices at home. =( bleh! one more day of loneliness before my mum n sis are back. haha. till then i shall busy myself in whatever i can, which obviously theres alot, like I&R (which i kept pushing back cos i have no idea how to go about doing it), op(memorize!), catch Lust Caution(dying to see ever since don'eknow when), read my books!(i still have 3 unread books!) and many more.. (maybe friendship bands? cross stitch?)

i m so dead. deaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddead
oh well. i only have myself to blame. =(
now i m sad. i need time out. >.<
leave me alone for the time being.

yeahness, promos are over, over, over, but it also marks the start of a new wave of panic, the results. i wonder when will revealation day be, because i m sure that will also be my doom's day. >.< i admit, confess, anything you called it. i didnt put in my best. i m dead. so dead. haix..

ok. enough of my self reproachments, n for more happy stuff. my cg went to SENTOSA today. hahah.. while some jc1s in my sch are still having their last paper, we r bumming and chilling at SENTOSA!! there were much fewer people at the beach, so we pretty much have the beach to ourselves. don't even need to fight with people for territories! haha.. glad they like the keropok i brought. heex.its "double decker" keropok. its like such an old brand keropok. yup. haha. i bought the "cheeky chicken" and "pranky prawn" flavour. its still as good as the old time. brought back quite alot of my childhood memories when i was munching away.

played a few rounds of beach volleyball and "oogle" at the miserable number of hunks on the beach. its a monday!! i guess hunks are either at school, work or simply bumming at home.monday blues. only people, deprived of fun due to sickening promos can have the enthusiam to drag themselves to the beach for a day of fun. hahahahha. =PP

wanted to try the LUGE, but then no one else seems interested. so in the end, i didnt went to try. oh well, perhaps the next trip? hahah.. so more reason to go back to sentosa! hehehe.

my slippers gt buried when i was playing beach volley by xiangrui, n i thought they got stolen away. haha. somemore, they were buried at the two ends of the net.>.< hahah. but then, it was fun trying to find my slippers though the sand was really hot!!!

we also buried xiumin and randy in the sand!! haha.. n me, jo(my garbage!!) and xiumin(lh!!) gt lotsa fun teasing "mr randy..." ahahhaha.. yupyup. u few willl know what i mean yeah? ahhah

alright then, shall blog more next trip! hahha.. do grab double decker!!(i m not paid to say this, but i really like them! Weee~)

its over over over.. for everything.....

this is my 101 post!! rejoice!! but my jolly mood is only short-lived as now i m awaiting my doom next week. yes yes. its the PROMOS! something that i keep putting off, trying to push it to the back of my mind, but it aint working.. its.. just NEXT week. GAH! the mounting stress cause me to be more absent minded, kuku, blur and increase my accidents toll. just recently, while cutting my toe nail, instead of the nail, i went to cut the flesh . even as blood flowed out, i still felt no pain, like numbed from my blurness of the situation. i only felt the pain the nest morning.. retarded senses? maybe..

oh well, this shall be a short post. N garbage if u are reading this, i say hi to u!! hahah( look below, its for u)

original quotes " at times i wonder, r u really that dense? haha.. it puzzles me, at the same time intrigue me. u r special in your own unique way i guess. silly=P" yes. garbage, i wrote it all out for u to see and quote from here. hahaha

i m just praying praying this nightmare will be over soon.

hohoho. i did the silliest thing. i accidently deleted my post. oh well. all the better. at least i vented all my anger, n threw it all away. away with all the negative feelings go away please. i seriously needs lesser anger and disappointments. yesh.
leave me alone and stop provoking me. i mean it

wow.. been feeling so tired today. almost fall asleep during bio lecture!! haha. fengyi was beside me. she very cute, keep asking me to sleep cos i look kindof sick. perhaps too much late night chiong stuff like wr bah. hahah. slept like so late last night.
yesterday stayed back for staff day rehearsals. My dance partner marc wasnt there, so i danced with joshua. omg, was i terrible. i forgot the steps, n i guess almost twisted josh hands when spinning around. ahhah. =P oopx. sorry joshua.. haha. guess i wasnt paying much attention either. my mind was wondering off to some other places.. when i got home after dinner was like 11! horrors.. den i chiong wr till its quite late. edit this n that and upload this n that. time certainly flies during the wee hours of the night.
i getting back my sickening throat infection i guess!! haix.. =( nvm. n it turn out tt my ankle's pain was not because of my tt sprain but due to an inflamed tendon!! no wonder it hurts so much, unlike all my previous minor sprains.
oh. i got the OST of secrets!!the movie starring jay chou!! ahha. so happy can! n theres the piano scores as well. anyone interested just tell me ok? =))
so happy today! hahaha.. found my twin "fish". ahhaha.. yesh "right hand" tts you!! nv knew we had so much in common yeah! =))

i seek to understand, to tolerate, to give in.
if u ask me now...
m i sad? yes
disappointed? definitely
i dont know why, and till now, i still dont understand. perhaps i m a slowlearner. perhaps i m just not use to the way things r done now. perhaps just perhaps, i just cant accept it...
Dont worry, i will get over it.
thankx for everything for those who stayed by my side when i needed the most. really.. i really appreciated tt.=)

hohoho. been experiencing problem entering my blog to update for the past few days. so at last, i can update.=))

been quite a busy week, been collecting money, money, money.. writing receipt after receipt. making phone call reminders, smses, blah blah, for gradnite. but its fun. tho pretty frustrating when handling the table arrangement.! ok. shan't bore u with all the nitty gritty details.

today, i went back dunman sec to promote tj with mrs loke, jiayi n belle. yup. the 3 of us. n we were late! cos we were detained at the security guard shed. they thought we were trying to sneak out of school! hey, come on, we r trying to promote tj to sec4 students, n we are members of sc and hc, will we want to risk our post?.. aiyo. make me run back to GO when my foot was hurting. but we were running late, so i heck care the pain. =P after that, horrors! no taxis. took such a long while before we can get a cab. at last. the we travelled to dmn. omg. when i was back, i feel so nostalgic. back at a place i been for four years. four wonderful years. the years in which i had grown both physically n mentally. the place that shaped me to who i m today. =)) but quite sad now that the field is gone n most part of the school is undergoing prime. i know the change is good, but its still the old that brings back fond memories, isnt it?

Went to the ever familiar atrium. the place where i chiong the most papers, maths, sciences, practially every night. the place whereby there will be the most "consultants", the teachers, to guide u n teach u. =)) such nice n caring teachers... arh.. miss those days. then i went up to the AVT, on the third floor for the presentation. As compared to our lts, it is indeed small, but i will nv forget the days spent there for extra holiday lessons, practical lockups and of cos the engaging and fun Adam khoo's course.!haha. yup.all these wonderful memories found in the different parts of the school. saw some teachers, glad they rmb us.! haha.. of cos, i m a model student! =)) missed the night study sessions most. yup. the nights we chiong papers, the nights we chiong with friends and teachers. all these and more. oh what memories.

met up with the vj people, taariq, eirene, xinmin and jiahui. haha.. we chatted and gossip about people from our year and the teachers. haha. we were at the atrium then. was feeling so comfortable to be back in dunman. all of a sudden, all the stress and anxiousness for the chem spa later kindof evaporated. we heard the ever familiar announcement from our beloved discipline master, mr bernard, to ask students to go for detention. yup. without mr bernard, dunman will be chaotic. without mrs neo, dunman english grades will drop. without dunman teachers, the students will not survive. yup.=))

Went to the bubble tea store after that. our fav hang out place for delicious bb tea and waffles(now even snacks!). can nv find a better place for good, cheap n nice snacks. n the orea blend is so nice!! its the budget cafe! yup. the older but better one. =))

we recieved a gift of appreciation from dunman. its a superb nice crystal ornament. yup. it dont look cheap and it is really beautiful. =)) love it. haha..

after that, we came back to tj. went for chem spa. hm. wasnt that bad.haha..hope so.

then we had staff day rehersals. i will be dancing with marc. haha. so funny la today, because i dont know the dance, but i manage to smoke my way through! haha.. though i keep dancing on the wrong foot. clumsy me.! hahah..=P

ok.. shall blog more tmr. i should be chiong my wr now! byebye. more post coming up on my kayaking trip tmr with 18/07! our pe elective!=))

=))

at times i wonder, r u really that dense? haha.. it puzzle me, at the same time intrigue me. u r special in ur own unique way i guess. silly.=P

yippe! had a great holiday! start off with wednesday. wasnt exactly an awesome morning because i was running here there everywhere and gt scolded by a tutor regarding seats for the old folks. so wasnt that happy. haha.. but my mood was better after that. the 31st went pasta mania to eat lunch! so many of us. pretty choatic.hahha. learn quite alot bout girls school though. heex. then me, jiayi, zhiyuan and kangyu went to tampines to watch SECRET!! ahhah.. a superb nice film! superb sweet. (my opinion) haha. the four of us ate the family combo set! was superb funny.. because its like we are family... well.. the 31st are a family rite? =))

Today went to marina square to catch rush hour with jolyn! =)) funny movie! me n jo laugh so much. our theatre was pretty noisy and there was once, a crying baby. but i guess everyone was laughing at tucker's jokes to really notice the baby crying. thankx jo for the cheese nachos! haha.. we then went to starbucks to slack. we order about the same, latte. just that mine was hazelnut flavoured and hers was vanilla. we sat at the sofa and crap. =P hadn't been able to had such a relaxing afternoon le. =)) took photos! we explored how to aim the camera better. haha.. had fun with the cam! wanted to buy donuts from the donut factory but the queue was horrendous!! so in the end, no donuts! =(( sobx!! hey girl. thanks for making my day, yea, despite u being late! tsk tsk! =X

my blog post is lost! horrifying!>.<

YEAHNESS! Tomorrow is the eve of national day which means it is half day. Thursday is NATIONAL day and friday is also a HOLIDAY! which means... no school till monday! yippeee~ i am really looking forward to this long holiday. got lots of time to do the stuff that need to be done.=))
i had been doing lots of reflections these few days, walking home or on the bus. it is always when i m alone that i start to reflect and ponder on my actions, or what had i done till now and i realize that i had not done exactly anything till now, or should i phrase it better, nothing worth mentioning? its like what i m doing now in my j1 yr is so routine based. Even if i keep myself busy with so many things, i simply realize that i m just doing things that i believe i can do it. No new challengers, no risks, no anything. It just so.. routine, so mechanical. i had simply lead myself into a false sense of security and comfort by just doing things i m familiar with, and not to do something that i had totally no experience at all, to take up new challengers or take risks. But is this really what i want to be? At times i wonder, why m i ever so busy? so busy doing what? something that is not worth mentioning at all?something so routine base? and yet i can kid others, even myself into believing that i m happy and enjoying myself doing all these things. "really? m i really happy?" i asked myself. and i realize only then that i cannot say a definite yes. maybe i m happy at times, but all the time? no, i dont think so.. i know that many will quote from the old saying that we should be contented with what we have, but at times, is that all we ever want in life? to be just contended with whatever we have and not strive for better or newer things and challengers? To wade in unthreaded water, to explore unknown routes? shouldn't we have alil more courage to do all these instead of choicing the "tried and tested" safer routes?
ok. my thoughts are really in a jumble.! i had to sort out this thoughts. perhaps the short holiday may restore the flow of my thoughts.
i dont want to whine. no. but at times i feel that i m being taken for granted.perhaps ppl are too used to me. my presence, that in their eyes, i simply blend well with the wall, always there when needed, but no need to acknowledge their presence because they are always there. their words and view not taken into account or heard at all, because no matter what they are always there. use as a substitute, use only when needed. i hate this.

Randomness! i m so full of nonsense these days. i guess lack of slp certainty taken a troll on me.. = so many things happened in just one week. hardly have enough time to digest all the things tt happened. but i m sure glad the weekends are here. time for a lil rest i guess, from all the tutorials, pw, late night, electives, etc. yeah.. hahah.. my eye bags are getting really noticeable.. panda eyes.. hahah.
but i guess i cant completely enjoy my weekend. still got lots to do with so lil time. tsk tsk. time is not on my side once again. have to really prioritize all my stuff. dont want to miss out any more things or to give up. yup! =)) (self motivation... bleah! hope it will work.. lolz)
hmm. i had fully recovered from my terrible terrible cold, but now it is being replaced by a stupid, irritating cough! =(( weak me.. guess i really have to take note of my health. dont want it to spiral down during this bzbz period. heex. still remain optimistic about everything.! hope everything work out fine, yeah?
had terrible nights these days. i can just lay in bed for hours just pondering over stuff and can hardly slp n it is always in the dead of the night. no wonder i will be so tired in the day. =(( why?!?

'cuse me! this is my latest nickname in cls. and tts because ..according to them. i say 'cuse me in a superb high pitch voice that can vs zubat(the bat like pokemon) and does a lil wave of my hand. got that high pitch meh? i dont know. haha. i guess that will be my signature face from now on!lolx.=))

Went for law elective today. the second one in weeks. but i had to admit, today's session was kindof fun, looking at all the transcript and stuff. to delve deeper into forensic lingiustic.

guess my mood is starting to return back to normal. hope i remain upbeat. i better start my planning for my two up-coming event! heex, since now i had more time, as compared to the last, with only a week for preparation.!

arh. i m confused. how come do i feel so neutral towards my ec now?

i dont know what is my problem. >.< shouldn't i be feeling happy and carefree now? since i got what i wanted? i dont know, its just this nagging feeling bugging me to go back, to just forget all my tiredness, all my stress, everything and anything n just run back. i dont know. The feeling i had after everything is like i had just lost my great buddy. especially at the moment when i hand over my bang di. i just couldn't bear to part with it. I m so used to it by now, just after 7 months..its like one of my closest possession.(of cos, it had even kiss my lips so many times) n i know it isnt mine, but the feeling is really sad?.=( i almost tear, but i dont know why i can still force that smile out when returning. its only after i handed over, everything became so real. its game over.
Was in the library computer section, when i heard the melodious tune of the dizi. i dont know is it just me or what but it sounded exceptional nice today, yet the tune seemed to stir that emotion i tried so hard to conceal. so overwhelmed by my emotions, i just pretended to be sleeping while my grpmates edited the pw. Well. i dont want to be bawling out loud in the library, right?
Well i guess i have to move on. i have more projects coming up for me to handle. as usual, its two projects that had to be planned at the same time. guess i should more experienced now since i had completed two projects le. jiayou bah wini. =
i cant help but notice. is that sadness i see in your eyes as well? even if u try to smile and reassure me its ok, i cant help noticing that in your eyes...

i had just burst that little bubble of hope today. Its over. Its final. Im outta of there. Perhaps never ever gonna walk that path again, to enter that door, to immerse myself totally in the music there. Never again. i'm sorry how things turn out this way, but i guess i had no whatsoever choice. i do not want to wait till its too late to regret, or to stay for my own selfish reasons. hope u understand. really do so.i'm sorry. no matter what, carry on the legacy! =))will be there for to witness the miracle make nxt year.

ok. i m guilty. i m supposed to be chionging my written report, had to do chapt 5, content page n editing. =( bleah! hate this job. but then i m seriously so ARGH!! i need an outlet to let out all the emotions in me! its like so complicated, so confusing, its giving me a headache! so many things n seriously i really need to manage my time really well.=( i feel so tied down by my many commitments.

yesterday went back to school for grad nite stuff, before heading off to macs for pw. as usual, pw meetings are like................................ editing is going to be done by me again.. thanks arh guys. ahhahahah... then after that i went to bedok interchange pasar malam with ms loo wanyin. hahha.. We catch up on each other's life, joke around, bought this n that. Realize i really miss her lots.. n nadiah too.. =(( we bought stickers to paste on our handphone! hahah. =P childish but... hahah..

Today went back school for the SAGE mcfolks thingy. so my whole weekend is really given to the school and school work! no sleep in, no rest, my poor foot, injured again as usual. how can i possibly rest my foot, doctor! its not like i dont want to listen to your advise, but acc to statistic, singapore's walking pace is one of the fastest in the world, n of cause i have to walk around to get to places so how can i possibly just sit at one place all day just to rest my foot? even my clsrm n lecture hall are located at different parts of the school.=((

Monday is SUPPOSED to be my earliest day off school BUT my timetable is stretching now till about 6? err!! got legal framework with louis, gt duty(not tt i m complaining bout this, like it actually, pretty fun! heex), pw!!!argh!, blah blah blah! n oh. going to meet my osteopath again for my foot.=(( think i m going to scream again. my stupid cold still refused to go away!! mr tutor had to remind me to go n see the doc for my cold for so many days, but i just have no time. by the time i m free, its like midnight? haix.

ooh.. saw him on fri!! hahah.. =))


oh man.. i m going to say it tmr. to get it off once n for all. i m sick of procastinating, sick of staying for the sake of staying. i know i will let some ppl down, but i m seriously bum out n i really need the extra hours to maintain my sainty in this crazy and hectic jclife. if not i m just collaspe one day. i thought through it for so long, ask advices and stuff before coming to this conclusion. its definitely not sudden rashness i promise u. i'm sorry

I M FEELING SO BURNT OUT! mentally broke down today. feel so suffocated.
tired, crashed..
sleepy, stressed
oh man. i hate this!
even u are unable to put that smile back on my face

I m just back for the EiE camp at MOE diary farm. its really fun and insightful. learn lots of things( including some scandal*ah hem*) and made lots of new friends!! =)) pretty fruitful camp! n i guess they are determined to fatten all of us up, cos there is so many tea breaks and food session!! hahah.. wee~ like my group alot though. we kindof bonded pretty well despite our many "differences". heez. this shows that differences do not matter that much in making friends.
had so much fun with the 31st at the camp! hahaha.. n thanks arh guys for scaring n freaking me out.! ahhaha.. enjoy myself. its so peaceful there and so relaxing.. but its all over now. i have to get back to life..

more and more work coming!! test,spa,grad nite and PTD. plz help me!! i m seriously dead.

my head is really throbbing. n i know very soon, after i start writing this post, i m going to either get a writer's block or start writting nonsensical stuff within minutes. hahha.. tts what happen earlier at my pw group meeting. i was tired n having a big headache so i started to talk nonsense and speak incoherently. lolx. oh.. whatever..
All results are out, best grade is C, damn. n worst is E, heng. average was D. pretty bad, but i guess i had to be contented le, since i expected far worst than that. At least i know i wont get a "summon" for my parents! hehe..
Oh gosh man.feel so drained these days, i had to resort to drink coffee!! i know i once told myself not to touch coffee unless i really need it, but i guess this is really the time! haha.. have no idea why i m so tired! =((
And i have a camp this weekend!! at jurong east!! must report at 8am can? oh..how "late" it is!! haha.. but i guess its going to be fun fun fun! heeX! MOE diary farm! =)) can make more friend yeah!
haiyo!! now i really understand the danger of scandal and the full impact of it.can u believe it, at once i m being scandaled to at least 8 guys!!! hey BBC(bitchy bitchy club) ppl!! spare me can!!lolx.. i m so innocent la! like tt bully me! =((

oh my goodnesss, i can nv see u the same way ever again!! feel so disgusted can!

haix.. feeling really down. but then who can i really turn to. i guess i will hurt someone else if i tell them how i was really feeling about my results. haix.. actually, i give myself alot of pressure and i guess thats because since young, i always have this mentality that no matter how good i do, my parents will still expect more from me. like when i when i was younger, i gotten 2nd in standard and yet they will expect me to be 1st. i guess even if i m 1st, they will still expect more. hence, even if people may think that i did pretty ok for my jcts so far, i cant help but feel lousy. and i know that if i express this thought openly, those who dont really know me or what i m going through will think that i m "suaning" them. hence, i will tend to bottle up this feelings. however, at times i want to make others feel better by saying i didnt do that well, but i guess people will still misinterpret this, thinking i m being insensitive or sth. its so suffocating for me, not knowing what to do or say. and i always ended up saying the wrong things. Feel so terrible, like i m a horrible person, when my intentions aint that. feel horrible to be misunderstood as well. I hate my stupid mouth for blurting things out without thinking! stupid me! =(

i cant help noticing, but its pretty obvious isnt it? i'm really sorry if i hurt u. its really unintentional.

let the jcts be a waking up call and lets do our best for promos kx! ppl stop being upset, its over n we cant do anything about the papers, but we can do sth to change the fate of our promos!as quoted:" failure is never fatal and success is never the end!" remember this! =)

OK.. I SHALL RANT ON THIS!! I cant believe i didnt gt the NDP tickets again!! i thought that with the new system of sms/e-mail/blah blah, i will get a better chance. moreover they say that those who didnt get the tickets in the past stand a higher chance! n once again.. i didnt get the tickets. sad and angry.. i really want to go!! especially this year, since its the first NDP on water. =(( so sad.. i hope i can get the tickets to the preview or sth.. =(( anyone wanna bring me along?
arh.. my mind is in a jumbled state. it cannot totally focused on something. i m losing my concentration and patience in things. i guess the JCTs had really affected me in a big way. i guess my JCTs are a goner.! well.. at least we get a long holiday as compensation. =)
Went back dunman with nadiah to collect my rotting o level cert. haha.. met wanyin. shes a ci already! haha.. must have the ci "say" ok?=)
went Tampines yesterday to do last min shopping to beat the GST hike. haha.. typical singaporean. i went with my mum. The crowd was !!!! So many people jam-packed in the two malls. Especially in Metro, they are having a closing down sale, most items going at 50% discount. I was squashed! elbowed, pushed,shouted, thrown dirty look! and almost had someone who tried to cut my queue.So overall, the shopping experience there wasnt very pleasant. But i managed to get nice pumps, so i guess "no pain, no gain"? then on my way out of Century square,(the exit was horrendous! so many ppl trying to squeeze through the entrance/exit. Human jam!) i spotted a dress that i really like it! so i got them. Will most probably wear them on my bro's wedding. its on the 23 of dec! looking forward to it! =)) ate at pastamania but the pasta was kindof too salty for my liking. haha..
hmm.. i m contemplating on buying another one of those solar operated round head smiley dolls that will either nod their head or sideways shake. i got one two years ago, but i want to get another way that is in a bath tub with a towel on its head in bright green! =)) so cute! they never fail to fascinate me and to put a smile on my face. i got so many of those small sized key chain(wanted to collect all but i keep getting pink an yellow) i saw it in tampines mall! hm. should i buy anot? hahah
well. i need to sleep le. going to source for sponsors for grad night tmr with the rest of the comm. hope that luck will be on our side yeah!=)

who have tickets for ndp?? please contact me. i really wants them! like so badly? hahah.. preview is fine too!=)) tag me at the bottom!

yeah!! its over over!! no more JCTs!! yesh.. been suffering from lack of sleep, stupid scary nightmares, erratic sleeping and waking hours, over anxiety and excitement!! damn. the test papers are like... HORRIBLE!!

i don't know why, but i cant seems to fall asleep between 11 to 3 plus like that. its really irritating!! and at times, i will feel sleepy at 9 plus but wake up suddenly at 11. so sickening!! and the worst of it all.. i dreamt of my pillow strangling me because i never study well!! arh!! and of people scolding me too.. and then i will be jerk awake! =(( so horrible.. at last i think this ordeal will end le.. phew..

today had my last paper!! econs.. yup.. so after that we went to eat SAKAE at heeren. The tea time buffet. we had a competition. Tricia, randy and yuang VS jiayi, louis, chia how and me.. at 1st they were leading, then we won!! because jiayi beat them!! lolx.. =X we ate about 70-80 plates of sushi loh!! hahah... n i broke a cup as well..blur me.. lucky no ones injured! =))

Watch the Fantastic four and the silver surfer movie. hmm.. quite a good film! don't know why critics do not like it. Because we watch the movie before we ate Sakae, we wanted to save on popcorn and drinks.. however, we are too hungry le.. so 4 people share one combo. hahah.. super save loh. =))

tmr going out with the sc girls! we are going to eat then we will go bowl!! at katong.. Weee.. then after that i meeting three third(nad) to go back dmn to collect our long forgotten 'o' lvl cert. seem so long ago that i sat for the 'o' lvl paper. =) then we will meet wanyin in dunman!! hahah.. the reunion? heheh..

so happy its over! so so so happy! wee...

my locker remains bare.. =(( sad.. hahaha.. *hint*

so happy that sch restarts.. hehe.. sound so nerd..

ok. i m pissed.

digusted.

so little time. so many things

argh!!

leave me alone.

if not i may end up snapping at u.

=(

Sad, depressed, silence, drained, stressed, tired.

oh wth! forget it.

man.. its sickening.

no idea whats happening to me.. too much bottled up feelings i guess.=((

JCTs coming!

omg! as it turns out. i still remember how to gt my archives back!! lolx! =) damn proud of myself.! so now, my investiture photoblog is not lost anymore!! =))

As you can see, I have been refusing to post for like 4 days now.. its because if i blog, my wonderful photoblog about my investiture will be gone! *poof* into the archive where it is inaccessible to other ppl except for my own viewing pleasure! haha.. its not i m selfish or what not having an archive section, but its because I forget how to create that tiny section. i have lost touch with my skills on html. =( boohoohoo. anyone willing to teach me?
Ok. so now, i have been overcomed with the temptation to blog.. so byebye post on "investiture".
had a terrific outing with the triplets!! Wanyin, nadiah and me. the rest of the npcc girls cant make it yesterday. so it was just the 3 of us. It had been so long since i laugh so much and thoroughly enjoy myself. And nadiah laugh till her jaw pain indicating that she definitely hadnt been laughing that much for the past months. We went to watch Shrek 3! a really nice and funny movie. go catch it if u haven't, shant blog the content, so no movie spoiler! =))
Really very frustrating when all your plans have to be changed last min. realized that these few days, council and my other commitments keep clashing. First of, i thought that the handover tmr will be in school. so i plan to have pw meeting in the afternoon with my friends after i collect our edited GPP from the teacher's pigeon hole, then horror horror. it turns out that tmr handover is at harbour front, 7.30 AM to 8.00 PM.(wonder what will we be doing.. and we have to bring 2 extra set of clothes) No way can i go to school to collect the GPP or even to have my meeting. =( major clash! i'm sure my group mates will not be happy, moreover, due to this, we have to reshedule our meeting to monday. really sorry guys.. didnt want this to happen either.
Secondly, on next weds is the inter-JC swim meet at ITE Simei. I feel that i should be down for duty as i m the HR director. After submitting the names and everything, viola! i receive an sms from my cg that we are going to have our cg outing on wednesday! of all days.. n i really want to go to the zoo. i want to see my polar bear! and the cute piggies, hippos, etc. n they are meeting at 11am, but my duty ends at 12.30pm. hmm maybe i should rush down to join them after that. haix.. why must everything clash.? think these wont be the last either, more of it will come. =(
oh well. i feel so much like a housewife these days. did a couple of household chores, though nothing compared to my mother. hahah.. =P but at least i help. and i finished the book "angels and demons" by dan brown. a really thrilling novel! read it if you can, esp the illustrated version, the sculptures mention in the book are absolutely gorgeous! And seeing is believing, its like you are also solving the mystery when u see the images. *got transported mentally to Vatican City. hope to go there in future to see all the mentioned churches and sculptures and paintings myself. heex.
who is willing to go with me? =)

yeah!! feeling happy today!!no longer emo-ing. cant wait for this thurs to come!! going to meet wanyin to catch Shrek 3!! venue is probably at tm!! yeahness!!haha.. hasnt met her for so long already.. going to have lots to talk about!! heex.. hope nadiah can come too.. =)) n the rest of the npcc girls!! really miss the days where we hang out together so often, planning for proposal, gossiping about each other's love life, bitching about people we dont like, etc. we were so close, bestest of friends. no barriers between us, just like the npcc march says " between all races there is no barrier. in npcc we all join hands!" yup! i miss all of u!! we shared tears, sweat, happiness, displeasure, trainings, punishment, stress, everything and anything!! n think these are the things that really bonded us together!! hahah. i think if there is an award "most bonded npcc girls" award, it will be given to us! haha..love my unit and love my batch the most! =) i hope that whatever misunderstanding anyone of us have with other party can be resolved. smiles and face the future and remember the happy times we shared in npcc.these memory will never be forgotten. the journey we had together was brilliant, all of u taught me so much! =))

Oh.. n i cant wait for week 3 to come. because my cg is going to the zoo!! yeah!! can see my favourite polarbear and the other animals.. heex. feel like some primary school kid so excited about going to the zoo. its like a school excursion!but i guess before i go for my "field" trip, i will be going to the inter-jc swim meet at ite simei! =)) see hotties!! lolx.. hope tj will win and owned the swim meet! lolx..its on the 13 of june. haha.. jiayou!

So many things coming up. oh.. n i m also looking forward to this weds. going to suntec with my mum n maybelle, the cute girl who is under my mum for tuition. smart and hardworkign girl. she did well for her mid years so my mum bringing her out as a treat. n i will be her "big jie jie".lolx. never been a big sister before. for all of my 17 years, my role is stuck at "mei mei" cos my mum's "factory" stop producing anymore "naughty lil things" after me. lolx. so..pretty exciting! haha.. but i guess i will be ok since i m already an aunt to so many niece and nephew. a very childish aunt indeed who used to play some stupid duck game i made up on the spot with them. lolx. =P but now, all of them have grown up, seldom meet anymore, kindof distant.

no more tutorial and lecture for the rest of my june holidays.! but that does not mean slacking.. JCTs on the 1st week of school. boohoohoo. this is no good, no good at all. =( hope i can do well.. still so confused over so many concepts. well. i guess i better start to understand them before they "finished" me off.

ooh.. i managed to borrow the special edition of "angels and demons" by dan brown, complete with pictures! so excited!m reading it now. felt like a young child who just found her favourite candy and is slowly savourind it,bit by bit. borrowed "Da Vinci code" the last time, complete with pictures as well. was great as the pictures aid in my understanding. hope this book will be just as nice as the "Da Vinci code"! hahah..=) ok i know i sound totally geeky here, but hey. i like to read! its fun n entertaining, and it is great for de-stressing as well. ok.. i can hear u guys saying how, since it involved reading, some sort of studying, how can it be fun. but interesting books with great plot are really a fantastic way to spend a whole afternoon with, esp if u have a cup of coffee or tea in your hand. it is very relaxing! =)) try it if u dont believe, but make sure the book is one u will like. heex.

on fri: oh my god, i think i was too obvious. i didnt wear my specs and was squinting my eyes at the other end of where i m standing to see if my friend was there and if the co ppl were there.was late for co camp. how would i know he was there too? if he hadn't stood up and walk in my direction, i would never know he was seated there! wad if he thought i was looking at him? omg!so paiseh! n i was holding on to mash potatoes! was looking for people to them away.think i must have look so stupid =(

just realize the other day that my tagboard is at the very bottom, after all my posts. kindof stupid, cos all along i thought i have no tagboard! how blur can i get?

today's jie jie bday!! "happy birthday to u.. happy birthday to u.. happy birthday.... happy birthday........ happy birthday to u!! wooohoooo!!" ahhaha.. u r old already.. so stop thinking that u r very young!! hahah.. =P
Had JTS yesterday. was damn funny.. because we bluff our seniors.we got them to wear beachwear and to bring 2.5 lemons. i bet all of them thought we were going to the beach or perhaps parkway to eat.. ahha..we "lure" them to parkway.. it aint our final destination thought. then, it turned out that kengmun knew where was the actual place and blurted out.. man.. but at least was fun!=) we brought them to mandarin garden. booked the function room there and there was food there!! yippee.. was famished!! chatted with the seniors and took several pics.. haven upload the pics yet. hehe.. thanks ratchaphorn for tt shirt! i really like it.. Thanks claire, rebecca and steph for praying for me.. really appreciate that.. =) thanks

hmm.. had been thinking and reflecting alot on myself recently. i realize that i had been too busy with my work that i tend to neglect the people around me.. i'm so sorry mum. i know it appears that i dont want to talk to you, and the computer is now my "best" mate, but its not true. its because i really have lots of work to do. i really want to make up the time lost and i hope that i can make up during the holidays. =)
hmm. dont you feel that whenever we are busy with our work, we tend to take the people around us for granted? we expect them to help us just because we are busy with our current projects and work. aint we too selfish? dont they have their own work too? aint those things that we expect them to do our own duties and responsibilities? i know that there are times we feel really drained.. we feel cranky and pissed with everything. but its just not fair that we vent all our anger on innocent parties. they aint the one who gave us the extra projects or work. its us we have to blame. its us, ourselves.. nobody can force us to take up extra projects if we really dont want to isn't it?
our pace in life is certainly too fast. shouldn't we slow down every now and then? we are missing out far too many things if we continue at this pace. we missed our love ones, we missed our friends, we miss opportunities in life.. shouldn't we take one step back to reflect on what we have done so far, instead of just heading straight all the time? in the process of acheiving our goals, we are missing out lots of things, we forget to look around, we just head straight.we left people behind, n perhaps, even lose ourselves in these frenzy. is this worth it?
ok. i know i sounded really emo but its just my way of thinking. kindof of messy flow of thoughts.. but who care? ahha.. its 12.20 am!


at times i wonder, will he walk too fast to notice me?

oh gosh.. its like 11.30 pm.. i should be dozing off on my comfy bed.. yet i m here blogging.. my time shown on blogs are all wrong de.. dont know who to amend it. =( listening to SHE latest album now. =)
Hm.. its the holiday! n yet i m still so busy!! Co camp! Makeup lectures.. tutorials..swim meet duty.. nvm hang on there! jiayou!
i dont think i going to make this a long blog.. cos.. i really want to go and slp!! ahhah.. tmr have lessons! starting from 8.30.. i feel i have no life..haha.. sch.. sc.. co... home.. damn. my life is so routine based.. no more going out.. perhaps only on sunday? hahah.. no more movies.. no more hanging out with friends to chill..=( well.. i chose this path myself.. so stop grumbling! hahah.. i m always contridicting myself.. when i m busy, i complain. when i m free, i also complain.. why m i always finding fault with myself? i also dont know.. (damn, my blog is getting so nonsensical.lolx)
i think i better stop here.. because, i think my blog is getting more and more "no link".lolx. so good nite ppl!sweet dreams.. as for me.. i will go slp on my superb comfy bed with lots of pillows! =)

had general meeting in the morning today with the 31st student's council. was feeling so drained after 2days of sports carnival.. discussed about the event coming up. had to find ppl to do 3 events. swim meet, tutor-parent dialoge and homecoming. hope i can find ppl who are willing to do duty! =)) had ppl signing up to do swim meet le. its on the 13 of june. hope we win cos i know the swimmers train really really hard, thrice a week.
Then, left early for CASHFLOW in NTU. was such a long journey, its in Boon Lay! east to the west.. hahah.. had such bad luck today. was the last to get out of the rat race.. =( but nvm. Rosemary, the ntu facilitator for our group was really nice and sweet. thanks for helping us as the "banker" for the game! really appreciate the encouragement you gave me. =)
Ate lunch with tricia, jy and yuang. had such a long discussion about vulgarities. hahah.. i was so anti-vulgarities while yuang was like "its normal mahs".. haha.. n tri n jy was like kindof neutral, ok when ppl are angry, not ok when ppl use on everything. yup.. cant believe that conver last so long, from our lunch to bus ride back to boon lay. hahah..
I dont know why but these few days, i just feel kindof down, kindof sad. shoulden i be happy? its the beginning of my council term.. holidays are here.. concert over.. no more late trips home.. lesser late nights chiong-ing work.. pe getting better games..see him so many times=)
yet, i dont know why m i feeling so emo these days. i dont know the source of it. just cant seems to smile. i get easily irritated, not tt cheerful/enthu, just not my normal self. why? is it because i m just too tired? hmm.. i dont know.orh maybe its just because i m sad that my snrs are sad because they are leaving already.. no more 30th.. well.. maybe..
or is it just him? my source of joy and saddness? such irony.


I was just thinking
is it just my imagination
or my senseless rumbling?
or is it just you i cant stop thinking.

Is it you or me?
that cause me to choke on my maggie mee.?
Is it true that love is blind,
if so, i guess i must be blind.
Were you just being kind
or are you really one of a kind?

You make me confused.
so very confused.
was that a hint of laughter i see?
laughter out of mockery?
or laughter out of pure joy and happiness?

Hope you are happy.
because you make me smile everyday! =)

*happy? or sad? =S confused





i m tired, disappointed,sunkissed(sunburnt) and pissed!

Today is the 2nd day of sports carnival. i stayed over last night, watched two movies, "step up" and "she's the man" i KO during "she's the man". didnt gt to watch the ending. Was too tired to kep my heavy eyelids open. And my sunburnt was hurting like hell. stinging pain. hate being so "loved" by the sun. keep making me "blushed" after my day out in the sun. So i woke up feeling blur as ever. So when yuen ask me tell jiayi to go toilet together. i just mumbled" go toilet" then jy ask "why" and you know what i replied? i said "dunno".. ohgosh.. i must be damn blur at that time man.. go toilet and dunnoe why go toilet.lolx
Then we went to the sports com to cheer the pdp reps on for their "wheelchair 3km" challenge. in the end, the 31st also took part. Hand was aching after the 200m-300m distance, now i understand the difficulty of getting around in wheelchair..
Since its the 2nd day of sports carn and i had no duty, i was superb ethusiatic and happy as now i can spent time with my cg and gt to participate in the events with my cg.! yup, i know i hardly have time for them, so sorry bout tt, so i really cherish the times we can spend as a cg. then, unhappy things happen at one of the event. oh gosh was i pissed at the referee. he was nt doing his job at all.! talk talk talk, back faced us, nv do his job properly, anyhow allocate points, nv look out for casualty. i was so pissed! he said we lost that match when it was so clear that we won 5-4 and not lost 3-4. we were fuming and yet he still insisted he was right. please.. u should be doing your job well and not neglect your job to chit chat! he made xiang rui so sad and angry that he cried lo. Xiang rui played so hard, he got himself injured and the ref dont even know!thats why he was so mad, he played so hard, we won and yet we are wrongly annouced as "loser" due to the ref negligence in his duty. fair? i ask you? no of course. our whole cg backed xr, such cls spirit. (Btw, thanks number 5 ref for trying to calm us down and sorry for being the one who have to tolerate all our bad temper and attitude. thats because we were all so mad at that point of time that we just kindof "burst" and exploded and u have to b the innocent victim of our onslaught on that particular ref) *Disappointed at such unfair treatment.
PS: to cg 14/07, so sorry about the whole thing. we arent mad at u guys, we are just mad at the ref. sorry for any misunderstanding and sorry for whatever we had said that may offend anyone of u. we didnt mean it.
The sun really love me alot, gave me "full attention" such that i gt sunkissed everywhere! so pain.. add on to yest one. stupid mozzies have to add love bites too. =(
hm.. what got me happier was when i went for dragonboating at kallang river in the evening. it was part of sports carn(our sports exposure)love the moments spent in the water paddling and splashing water. i always feel happier out in the sea or doing water activities such as kayaking or white water rafting. =)
then went to eat kfc with fengyi and felicia. we crap and gossip so much.. as usual, place 3girls together, this is probably the main content of what they are talking about. haha.. they two were superb crappy and we spent the time laughing and laughing. mood was getting better. =))
Now i m so tired! whole body aching! n i m sunburnt! can feel heat radiating out of me. lolx. i feel like going to my comfy bed to slp now! hahah..
Tmr is the "cashflow" competition held at ntu. hope we guys can win something back! jiayou 18/07 ppl! we are the best! yeah!
hey good job!!! he won a medal today. was happy for him, but the event he and his cg won was the event me and my cg was most unhappy with and pissed at. such irony. but we were playing for diff age grp. so i guess its ok. haha.. =P *happy to see you smiling!

hmm today is such a long, tiring but funfilledday! yup!its sport carnival! yeah! was down for refereeing duty for dodgeball.. well. it was no choice.. but nvm, enjoyed myself!just that i felt that some people really take the game realy seriously and can turn pretty violent. hey hey ppl, its supposed to be a friendly match,to bond ppl together and not to turn violent and start wacking your opponent with the ball like nobody's business.lolx. but was a fun experience. =) We referees played one friendly against some pdp. didnt know what pdp it was.. blur as ever.. but nvm. i was the lone survivor among my the other 4 comarades.. n i have to dodge all the balls alone.. was so difficult. did so many funny postures. mayb i should consider yoga.. lolx.. the sun was merciless. now i m like a lobster.. or should i say like i m constantly blushing? ahhaha.. =P so overall, was a great experience.. btw. thanks ratchaphorn for the delicious donut! and thankx to whoever who help me during my refereeing duty. greatly appreciated! =)
Went to toapayoh to watch the badminton finals.. we lost to rj! but its ok. Cos we r still proud of u guys.. did such a wonderful job, yeah! so smiles ppl, dont look so glum! =)
well.. gtg soon. gg back sch for stay over with the rest! yippee.. going to be fun fun fun.. so yeah.. byebye.. hehe

oh gosh.. that was really nice of u! =) u made my day.. =) if what jm says is true..then.. y shud i worry so much? hahah

phew.. one thing off my shoulders already.. 31st Student's Council Investiture is official over! well.. in my opinion, i think it went pretty well.. heex.. not much hiccups. except perhaps at the beginning when it was pretty messy, if not everything went pretty smoothly. =)
Justin and me! haha.. former student lounge director!love ur braces!(we both have nice wide smile!)
me an jiayi!! hahaha.. yeah! we r in the same Dept! RAP!! relations and publicity! love working with u girl! we must jiayou together.

Had much fun today.. have to get the other photos from the others. esp the one taken with both ratchaphorn and joel! 3oth! all of you will definitely be missed. the lessons u taught us, the times u shared with us, the advice you gave us, the hugs u gave to cheer us up, the shoulders you lent when we need it, the listening ear u spared when we grumble, the number of hours which you can spent studying are sacrific to teach us mass dances.. all this and more, the tears, sweat and smiles that we share is what bonded us so closely and strongly.. no matter what happens.. all of u will be my fav seniors! thanks 3oth council for everything u gave us! u will definitely be missed! =)

he came! he came! oh my goodness.. hahah.. was so happy.. tts was why i keep smiling throughout my investiture! hahah.. but is he really gay?

Busy busy busy! gosh. i only have time to blog now. been online for past few days but have been busy with school work and investiture! woo hoo. tmr's investiture. excited n ready for new challenges but sad that seniors will be leaving us soon.. =(
PW!! haix.. so many things to do yet so lil time.. if only i can stop time.. then maybe we can get everything done. all of us are so busy.. with our commitments and stuff.. oh gosh.. m i too greedy? taking up so many things? SC,CO, law electives, investiture comm.. but good news is investiture will be over by tmr 2 pm! so one less commitment and more time for other things! n holidays are coming! cant wait.. but there will still be make up lectures and tutorials but at least i will gt breaks yeh?haha.. n there will be cg outing to the zoo! hehe.. will be fun.. =)
Had pe today.. was pretty fun, we played capt's ball. was not in the mood to play actually so i was the defender instead.a shortie as defender? lolx..n was fun teasing yulan with mr hot.. hahah.. she was so paiseh.. whole face red. =P
Even though it is about 9pm now.. i can feel my eye lids drooping and my head throb. too tired? haha.. maybe..

Well shall blog more nxt time.. haha..

Had a great time on sat! CO concert at SCH. my very first experience.. haha.. was pretty smooth.. my hair was sprayed with glitters.. didnt want it at first.. haha.. but then gt "attack" by the "spray"!haha.. but heng manage to avoid putting make up.. i ahve enough pimples! i dont want more! lolx

gay or not? confused! plz give me a sign.. dont leave me there bewildered.. anyway.. have u ever notice me?

oh gosh! i suspect my eye candy is a gay! =(oh gosh.. y oh y.. let hope its not true!! plz..

haix.. ended co pract around 10. feeling damn lousy.. haix.. all time low.. its not that i cant play. i think i simply have no confidence at all, hence i always tend to present my worst in front of others. haix. its really saddening. i trained until my mouth still quiver after i stop n my teeth are feeling sour. yet.. i still cant produce any good result. n tmr is the concert already. i feel so stressed out.haix. and some ppl just dont understand that i m trying very hard already. all he does is criticise others. yar right.. i know i shall play superb soft so i will not ruin ur solo ok? so u will shine ok? so nothing will happen and ppl will rmb u as the superb good player ok? i just dont know why he cant understand. i mean he had been through what i m going through now n he definitely know how stressed out i m already, having to master the skills and the song in such a short time. its a miracle that i can even manage to play out the higher octave tunes. cant he even try to be nice?since its already one day before the concert? why must he keep demoralising me? "oh.. that wont sound nice, er.. can u play softer.. so XX can cover u?" to say the truth i was pretty pissed. however i cant be bothered already, too tired to talk, mouth still hurting. n i have other stuff to worry about..

why must life play such a cruel joke on her? shes still so young.. lets pray that its nth n just a scare.. no matter what. must jiayou! will be supporting u!

oh my gosh!! my eyecandy gg my investiture! over the moon!! =)

its saturday!! n i cant even get a decent sleep in.. had to wake up early to go sch for 1st GM. had internal election. had the 2nd post i wanted.. quite happy about it.. gonna be fun fun fun!! n i gt 2 plan for grand nite!! hahaha.. co0l.!
Investiture cuming!! arh!! hope nth gets screwed up. heex.
had dizi today. went pretty well. except i was horrible. teh rest were good. joanne making superb progress.. me.. slowpoke as ever. =( horrible. sat is the performance le.. haix.. maybe i will just do back stage den.
went to tm after that to do gpp. was superb tired.. been like rushing non stop since the morning. all my commitments.. haix..better gt the gpp up soon. its due nxt week. i cant believe it la. we handed our 1st draft like weeks ago n gotten it back like this week. and then told that nxt fri we gt to hand in!! arh! stress! why wasnt it given back earlier! gosh!
been ranting quite alot these days.. so many things happened. so many things to do but so lil time.. when will i ever gt my well deserved break? when can i ever feel relax n not so tense up?

the only reason i m still smiling is because of you.. but .. is what i saw really true? im confused. damn.

arh!! was all prepared to go supreme court for learning journey today!! even went to buy sweets with the rest. we bought all the sour sour sweets like sour skittles, sour power( green apple), sour cassies.. then.. we cant go.. because we have mother tongue enrichment class and that has higher priority, so we cant go.. so disappointed.. all of us were in high spirit at 1st.. because we go cg outing.. then.. cancelled!!
went for the mother tongue enrichment feeling rather sore.. however, cant say that is was a waste of time or sth. the DJs from jia 883 came to our school to give us a talk bout the life of a DJ and so on.. we saboed xiang rui to take part in a game. n he won!! hahah.. cos they think he very cute n cos we cheered the loudest for him. haha.. so funny.. xiangrui is lyk the wang sha in our cls while randy is lyk the late ye feng. the comedy twosome.. haha.. n xiangrui can do the famous "titi you dada" with that retarded face. so funny..
after that, went parkway with junmin. haha.. wanted to buy sth for mum for mother's day. however, got nth instead.. cos cant find anything nice for her.. argh!! its this sunday!! how how?? tmr bah
have internal elections of sc post tmr!! first GM.. haha.. think my uniform superb crumpled but nvm lar.. hahah. have to do gpp tmr!! we handed in so early.. but only gt back like this week? n nxt week must hand in le!! argh!! stressed n pissed! grumpy!

CO got gold with honours!! congrats!! jiayou jiayou!!
TJ soccer nt tt bad like.. though will be trashed like siao by VJ but turn out to b a good game afterall.. good job guys!! we r proud of u

ok.. fine! i know i m a girl. but so what? u mean girls cant do as good a job as a guy? u think that only guys r mentally n physically strong. i do admit guys r definitely better in physical stuff, but for mental strenght, i can say that both girls and guys r equally strong. so stop being so egoistic n stuff. we are living in the 21st century.. not some way back 9th century or sth. u r jux baise. u have nv ever given me a chance to prove myself. its so disappointing. u r sumone i hold in high esteem n take inspiration frm. now.. its all gone..
feeling rather low.. but thankx 4 all the support i gotten frm my cg!! love all u guys!!with u all arnd, i will nv feel alone cos i know i can always depend on u all! n dont worry, i will nv ever forsake u guys!! =) love u guys to bits!! n to those ppl who gave me encouragement, who believe in me, who were there for me, a big thankyou!!it is greatly appreciated n i take comfort in those words u all tell me! =)
yes. i will bounce back to normal in no time!! smiley n superb enthu kia will be back yeah!! hahha.. i still want to be model student leh.. lolx..
was washing mass tins the yesterday.. horrible job.. joshua washed till his hands look like they r going to rot soon. i was looking like sum ah soh washing at the market. haha.. very funny. scrub and scrub!!

was that a smile for me? why do i have to meet u when i m looking atmy worst.. damn.

MAMBO NIGHT!! SO RETRO RIGHT!!

TRICIA AND ME!! (oh gosh! my pimple so big~!!)

hm.. been so long since i last blog. been really bz with preparation of second orientation 2 update. hehex..
lemme refresh my memory.. hmm.. oh ya.. my o lvl results.. well.. nt exactly fantastic tho. gt 7 As, l1r5 8. bit disappoint tho but its okie la.. @ least i gt my place in TJ secured!! hehe.. TJ!! =) stay in the same cg as 1st three mths.. 9 of our ex 18/07 left us, either to other jcs or other cgs. well.. cg18/07 will nv b the same wothout them.
so embarrassin on orientation night. i cried even b4 it ended. becum too emotional.. so unlike mi.. haha.. den those we try comforting mi ended up crying 2.. sum cg mates leaving for good n the end of scip.. realli realli sad.. no more mass dancing session wif the "entertainers" who r best @ self entertaining. haha.. memories of the days spent with u guys will b etched in my memory 4ever, promised! =)
mr koh, our econs cher is so cool! he gt 7 dist for his A lvl! top student!! wau.. so honoured to be taught by him. hahah. congrats!! =)
i m 17 oready!! haha.. 19/03 my bdae! thankx 4 the gifts, cards n well wishes!! =) so old oready!! arh..can time plz slow down.. i dun wanna b so old.. =P

a lil poem composed randomly

dull ticking of the clock
i stare blankly at the lock
admit defeat n b released?
No way, my heart will nv b at ease.

terror, fear griped mi like a vice
for once i feel as scared as a mice.
who's this talking outside my cell?
i thought beside me there shud b no one else...
new past