Went out with dearest wanyin for X-men Origins: Wolverine! Woohoo, Huge Jackman looks incredibly hot in the movie!:D:D And the movie was great! Love it to bits. There was this superb inconsiderate guy who was sitting behind me. His phone rang during the movie and he refused to attend to it until i STARED at him. Good thing Ms loo was holding to the popcorns, because I think I will flung the popcorns into his face. He made me miss some parts of the movie! Urgh! Of course, after i glared at him, he immediately reached for his phone and ended the annoying ringing. And he left superb fast when the credits were rolling out. I sat throughout the credits and caught the last part of Hugh Jackman! :D:D Still looking so hot!Hahah.

Went online to check my acceptance and saw that NTU has responded to me. Disappointment. But now it makes it even clearer where i should go. I really must thank those who have been ever so patient to me, listening to me grumble, fret, etc, to mention some Ms Seow Jiayi whom I talk on Msn everyday bout UNI. ahahha. Cera and Cheryl whom I complained to everyday at work! Miss Loo Wanyin and Miss Ong Minyu-my besties in Secondary school! Hopefully we will all end up in the same fac in uni. :D Ms Lim Fengyi and Ong Junmin for all the smses. Ms Tricia Goh for the msn convo straight after my prev blogpost on Future was up. and many many many others. And of cos my supportive family! :D

I got my guidance and will be strong and press forward. Yeah!



I have been thinking about many many things these days, all linking to a single world- FUTURE. We have come to a stage in life whereby we must make a decision that will determine our career path and shape who we will be in the future. Yes, we have submitted our choices to the respective schools and are now waiting for their replies, and yet till this point, I still fear that the choices I make will be something I will regret.

At times, I wonder how can some people be so decisive and know exactly what they want in life.? Are people choosing the courses because they are passionate about it? Because they did well enough to get in the prestigious course? Or just apply them as back up in case they can't get their dream courses? In which I guess in some cases, and in this realistic world, many people are choosing jobs which are stable and pays well despite a recession. But how will they know they are making the right decision? What if it falls short of expectation?

I'm scared, really scared, please show me some guidance, tell me that everything will be alright. That I will be fine, that there is nothing to fear. Please...

Argh! the cdc website is so !!! I can even book my june lessons! :( Its so expensive each lesson. Slowly sucking away my pay. Bohoho!

Still stuck at the same company working, however now im less miserable because i made friends with the other temps! haha. Hello Cera! Hello Cheryl! Hello Ferlicia! But my senior left us! bohoho, she always try to protect me from *******! haha, so sweet right! But she left for a better place, wishing her all the best!

Had my 6th driving lesson, beginning to have just that little bit of confidence in me when i'm driving. But had a scare when i upped gear to 4th when it is supposed to be 2nd gear only! hahahha, but my instructor seems to have more confidence in me compared to the past few times, and I agree with him about me being rigid, because I'm so afraid, so I tend to be too safe and keep sticking to theory, but on the road, you have to play by ear and act accordingly to the road situation. Learnt alot for these few lessons. He even let me drive back to school (since we are out on the road as i had my pdl!)

The cdc website is still having probs! =.=" Please work! I need to book the lessons!!!:( It like so horrible the web and the students there are uber kaisu, the other time i miss the start date to book for the next 1.5 mths lessons, I have to wait for half a mth later to have my next lesson!:( so sad! sobs... Hope they work on the system,because I think its kindof screwed up. Gogo1 my patience are waning. Boo.

I keep visiting the mail box for the letter, why!! Why is it not here yet!! Sobx. Please come quickly! I waiting for you...!

Been through an emotion rollercoaster ride this week. :( Had the first taste of what the real world is. My supervisor counselled me on it, but still I'm still have the guilt within me. And I'm really so not used to going to work/lunch/knock off ALONE.

Getting praises should give you satisfaction isnt it? But somehow, they just make me feel worst. Just want to bury myself in my work work work.

Nose is acting up again. Itchy, nosebleed, white discharge, etc etc. Why do I have such a sensitive nose plus such thin membrane? :(

Been a lousy week. Hope the coming week will be much better.

My life become more routine-like ever since I started working as a temp. My job is kindof repetitive, which leaves me no challenges to tackle. To some, it the best kind of job, its so no brainer, and so easy to earn money, plus the pay is pretty decent. But to me, its not. I can't find pleasure in the work, making going to work a chore. Not only that, working make me realized how sheltered I had been. Never had i had so many scoldings, etc in a day. And I meet all sorts of people, the type of people you hope you never meet, seriously. I can't believe people can be that selfish, all they are thinking of is how to do things to benefit oneself, or to put their rivals in the bad light! >.<

And another thing I can't stand is that after working for more than a month, those people who I've been working closely with do not know how to pronouce my name, or worst still do not even know my name! I think knowing the names of the people you work with is basic courtesy! Its plain rude to keep calling the temps collectively like "the temp girls". I do not think temp should be subjected to such behaviour. Moreover, if you can't pronounce my name, you can just call me Wini. I said that many times, n yet I have people miss pronouncing my fullname but still insist on using my fullname. Grr.

Ok, enough of ranting. I will be outta there as soon as I can. I can't stand it anymore!

Caught madagascar2, city of ember, bolt and twilight to satisfy my craving for movies after a movie drought for a few months? =D And from my choice of movie, I realized they are either cartoon (childish) or fantasty (unrealistic). But one thing for sure, I learnt alot from the two fantasy movies.

In both City of ember and Twilight, the guys are always the one who care alot about the girl's safety(plus point).However, they tend to neglect their family members. Its like they are totally obessed with the girl, very protective whatsoever about them, that they tend to forget their family members, and the family members are there to help the guy to protect the girl, etc.. Hmm.. Does these scenes truly protray the attitude of guys towards relationship and family?
On the other hand, the girls are the one who are constantly watching out for their family. Even if they themselves are in danger, they would risk everything to save their own family members, a point which the guys don't get it in the movie. The guys would reply "we'll get them later, lets get out of here first." Selfish? or just over protective of the girls? You decide.

Another issue that is puzzling me is the fact that people can pay to watch Twilight again and again. Hmm.. Yeah, i agree that it is quite a nice movie, with a cute teen couple and an interesting plot, but is it really worth to catch it so many time?In my opinion, no matter how great a movie is, I will just catch it once, because by watching it all over again, there will be no anticipation and excitment you felt the first time you watched it. You know what is going to happen, when the cute guy is coming out, and stuff like this. It will take away the joy of watching a movie. Maybe the obsession of these teenage girls with the Edward cullen is something i will never understand. Yes, he is quite cute with those intense eyes, but.. I just don't get it. Somebody please enlighten me.

As I was packing up my table yesterday, I stumbled upon my many many lovely diaries which contained my memories. When I was reading through the entries, I realized that in my 2 years in Jc, perhaps it is due to the stress, the lack of time management or maybe even commitment, my 2 years in Jc were never properly recorded down. It just seems like a lost chapter from my diary. It was recorded every now and then, but never in full, just bits and pieces.

However, I realized that it is also within these 2 years that i managed to write out decent poems. My exploration with poetry started when I realized that I need an outlet to express my thoughts and feelings. Mere writings and narration were not enough for me. However, now is still not the time no share yet, no, for I'm still not ready to share. Call me selfish, but the poems depicts my innermost thoughts and feelings, which I'm not willing to share..yet. So when the time comes, perhaps just perhaps, you may get a glimpse of my works.

My two years in JC concluded last night with a glamorous prom at Marina Mandarin. In my opinion, the prom was kind of draggy, the food not very pleasant But at least the photo-taking and people watching made the event much more worth it. And of course, the company i'm with! =D The makeup was kindof horrible because my eye makeup keep smudging. When im back home, after washing off the loads of powder/makeup off my face, I saw red spots-another allergy=(

it had been so long since i written a decent post! haha. Been pretty busy with A levels and after A levels activities. Having not blog for so long, i find it kindof hard to start writing again. Theres so many things to write about, but somehow, i find it difficult to put to words my feelings and thoughts.

i think until i consolidate my feelings and thoughts, will i be blogging again.

Hot tears
heart ache
its over
i'm dead

the above just summerized my feelings for prelims. Yes, i did alot of stupid things, especially for chem and the most heartache thing is when i realize my gazillion mistakes n was about to change just ONE OF THEM, time's up. argh, my brain frozed in the hall, n i always take so long to recover! blah! but its over, next week is D-Day.

Enough of all that, its my fault, i wasnt well prepared. =(

OH, my family has new additions in the family. No its not a baby, its ALOT of babies! hamsters i mean. My sister brought home her hamsters from her office. And the couple had 6 babies! they looked like gummy bears. But sadly, one didn't survive past the 2nd day. So left 5 more babies.The day after the death of the 6th, we checked the cage very often to make sure the rest were doing fine. We were very shocked to see the mum disposed off a weak baby who was still breathing in the toilet(small green container!) The mum didnt like that baby.=( We rescued the baby and placed it back in the litter. Afterwhich that baby grew to be the smallest of the lot. I observed the little fellow's progress everyday, its growing up fine, but its only half the size of it's FAT BROTHERS who ALWAYS bully little fellow! hmpf! and the mum is biased, always refused to nurse it. It pains me, so i gave them extra food, hoping little fellow will eat more(since they are starting to eat solid food) Hope little fellow will grow up to be fatter and stronger and not be pushed around., JIAYOU! another baby hammie was very cute too, always whining, and another always sticking with the father!
So, now my house has 2 doggies, 2 guinea pigs, a family of 7 hamsters, 3 terrapins and many many fishes! hahaha. So, its like a mini pet shop. =X hohoho, they brought so much joy to the family! =D
And during the study break, i caught the movie Wall.E. It is a really really nice movie.I love Wall.E eyes and Wall.E is really sweet and lovable! =D Wall.E is not shy to express his love to Eve, and it always there for her. In the movie, it really reflect the greed and laziness of people and amplified Wall.E innocence and sincerity in making friends. It also sent out a messenge about the need to conserve earth. A great movie for the whole family. I love the part whereby the two robots were still on earth, Wall.E attempts to woo Eve, and staying by her side all the time. AWW, so sweet! =D i don't mind watching it again. But for peoplewho love action pack or thriller movie, i think this movie isnt for you. You will end up like one of those people snoozing in the corner.
Then, there was mooncake festival! We had SO MUCH mooncakes to eat, there are still some left. We had icecream mooncakes from swensen's, goodwood park uberdelicious snowskin assorted mooncakes(there was any after we bought at the outlet! hahaha), teochew traditional yam mooncake, small snowskin durian mooncakes from 717 (given) and 4egg traditional baked mooncakes (given). So i was like a glutton during this period, cannot waste mah. hahahah! =X i still wanted green tea mooncake but... i definitely can't finish. so oh well.. next year!=D

Hm. For now, i want to just take a short break to re-charged. Of cause, next week will be a very tiring week, because i will be bawling outloud. Tissue paper anyone?

i am so not going to study out ever again!

I went back to schfor GP consultation with Mr Tan. He told us to meet him at 7.25 but a last min meeting pushed everything to 8.20. We got there late, at 8.30 though. After that, nolinkFish n Junmin asked me to join them to study at Marine Parade library. Everyone knows i DONT study outside school, BUT i decided to give it a try today, because, 1. they say its very condusive there and 2. i want a change of environment. And it turned out to be a bad decision.! =(

IT was SO noisy there, so not condusive! There was this group of guys that keep talking and talking n talking! so distracting, and there are quite a few inconsiderate people who didnt switch their phones on silent mode. ohwell, this isnt the worst. When it was 12.30, Junmin, nolinkFish and Dong was hungry(Randy was hungry onlyafter he switched to one of his 7 stomachs! hahah) so we decided to go and eat. It was pouring, what luck. Then i recalled vaguely that last year, during a pw meeting, it was raining too, but my grp managed to get to MP library without getting wet from PP, so i told them need not bring umbrella, cos it is sheltered all the way. A decision i soon to regret. It ended with 5 people drenched from head to toe at the nearest coffee shop. Then when we were having our lunch, we got harassed by an aunty(shan't elaborate). Before leaving, she even asked me(why me??) over and con't her lecture. I guess my face was the least pissed and most peaceful. Then it was a peaceful day after, except for more disturbing, not considerate people at the library who choose to play catching, date, etc in the library....

Argh! i think all these simply tells me not to go out and study anymore! hahah. So sorry nolinkFish, junmin,dong and randy for getting you guys drenched, wet and cold. =( i was wet and cold too and i took off my shoes in the public library!(the librarian didnt say anything)ahhahah.=D oh well, hibernate at home and study till next thurs for my next consultation in school at 7.15AM!

Last friday i went to watch the Dark Knight with my sis at cathy cineleisure at 11.20pm? hahah. It was really nice and i really like Christian Bale the actor who was acting Bruce Wayne(batman). All along, i thought Batman was like really noob, only have strenght and not much power, but know i know why he is a superhero.=D go watch if u haven't! Before the movie, me and sis went to this shop with the UFO catcher machines to try our luck there. It was really exciting, we almost got the eeyore, but alas, luck wasnt really on our side. =( but overall, had a great day. Reached home at 3 am and got scolded by Jack(the old but adorable jack russell!!!)

Olympics is really exciting! Ever since it started, i got kindof "addicted" to it and must have a daily dosage! but this week is quite horrible, so i didnt really have the luxury to watch, but just catch the daily highlights or snippets. Had a bio re on tues, another bio re on weds and today a horrible econs test on role of government. IT WAS WORTH 25 marks. =( boo, didnt know if i wrote the right things down, doesnt seems to be too confident, i was just rushing rushing, without much thinking. BLAH! this is bad, real bad, n prelims are like.. oh so CLOSE!

Somedays the weather is fine with fluffy cottony clouds , somedays the weather isnt fine, dark clouds loom around, but remember, within the clouds there will always be a silver lining, so dont despair and JIAYOU! smiles everyone! =D

Somedays, i just want to hibernate in my warm blanket, sleep all my worries away and never ever look back at the past...

Have you ever met one person that can make you smile from within?

The rain was so huge just down. Washalf drenched but its ok. My handy waterproof windbreaker was there to save the day! haha. Lent Wangboon my umbrella since I won't need it for the rest of my journey home. Rainy days make people sad, make people reflect, but a certain someone can brighten up the gloom rain brings with it. =)

I wonder...

ok, i hadn't been updating much because i isolated myself frm the com for the longest time ever. hahha, n my inbox burst! with 1000++ mails unread. hohoh..

The feeling is really weird not going to SC room in the morning anymore. Especial on monday mornings. I no longer read the morning annoucement and end off with my "thankew" that my 1807 always imitate or get to wish ppl good luck for exams like what i did last yr for the J2s(n my stupid snr said he thought was a bimbo!) OR to use the PA system and people "complaining" i was too loud and high pitched( as compared to the USUAL speaker on the PA system who err speak much softer?) AND to stand beside zhiyuan every monday because she is the flag bearer and us talking discreetly infront of the whole school! haha. Or the wednesday morning me and siewyuen will fight to not be the last one in the line (esp when Esti was not around) and to see JiaYi not knowing where the container classroom is after our wed's morning assembly! =(( And the Fly tt was always around during wednesday morning assembly. Oh. It all over, our term had ended. The tears we shared, the memories we hads and the friendship that we forged. all this and more. All the late nights that we had and Jason who always suggested going to the "hippest" to eat and tt spastic Ryan with all his crap!! Oh and Swee Liang with his Sweeliang time and for being such a great Discomm i/c and the orhorh tao Kangyu, piaoliangbbaobao Valerian AND Aishah-the energy bunny! there is YanTing who is always in the same comm as ME and the superb creative Beatrice, Shawn and Ivan who created all the wonderful wonderful posters and banner, etc for the council. And having work with all the PC! Mingjin, Cadence and Ziko! all with different styles but all so nice to work with. And Evelyn who is so cute, esp the day after Mardi Gras, the 2 of us was practically complaining everything esp after our "hungover" frm the day before!! haha. And Huimin my mama, Lorraine my behind the scenes "girlfriend"!! and Joshua who i got to know much better after EiE and who went with me to Minitoons to buy Grp5 gift and looking totally out of place with all the girls staring!hahhahaha=X And Karina, Jessica, JinZhi, Ajit,Jimmy, Bala, Trinity, Bryan, Ren Hao, Shiyun, Amira, Chester, Jonathan, Warda, Ming, ZhengLu, Alex, YingChao, Kenneth andMarc! THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR THE WONDERFUL MEMORIES! U MAKE ME PROUD TO BE A 31st! =DD i will miss all the moments with u guys!

Labels: 38

Hahah TRIEE! i m blogging again! =)))) n for joshua i m going to answer ur tag questionaire!

Interview with myself
This is interesting and embarrassing..wahaha..enjoy=)
Instructions: Replace one question from below and replace it with your own.

1. What's your favourite food?
hmm this is tough.. JAP food.=DD
2. What is the one thing you would change if you had a chance to go back into the past?
Well i guess to save my friend's father's life.
3. What's going to happen tomorrow?
Out K-ing and pizza lunch with council buddies! =D
4. Do you hate your friends sometimes?
Hate is too strong a word. If u are very close to your friends, u will tend to expect more right?=X
5. When do you wish to die?
When my time is up, i will go.
6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
- Of course!
7. What impossible things you would wish to do?
- To have the ability to heal people's heart.
8. Do you believe in eternal love?-
Yes, n dont say i m gullible!>.<
9. Have you broken someone's heart that he/she tried to commit suicide?
- not that i know of.
10. Where is your favourite holiday destination?
- Paris n Germany
11. Describe your other half?
half, what other half. ;)
12. What feelings do you hate most?
Betrayal
13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
- Yes.They are important to me
14. What are you looking forward to in the upcoming weeks?-
Getting some rest n baking more cookies!
15. The most important thing in your life?-
My family and jack
16. Who do you hope to be always there for you?-
People who carefor me n whom i care
17. Do you find life meaningless?-
no, there are so many things out there for u to explore n discover.
18. Have you ever loved someone?-
maybe the right one has not appear yet
19. List one thing that you are scared of.-
losing someone close
20. What's your greatest wish?-
for the safety of my loved ones
21. What if one of your loves betray you?-
Question myself why.

the end, i shant tag 7 ppl! ahha

our journey together is ending...

Had invest rehearsal today, which clashes with the 3rd-4th placing match for bball, so needless to say, i was in school rehearsing and "dancing to the moonlight". n we lost, to vj! =( sad plx.

After that went out with yuen to bugis to get her billabong bag!! was really a nice bagpack which is black base with red flowers and white words. Not too plain nor loud! =D n look nice when she carries! had dinner after and we gossip gossip gossip! hahaa. N if u r seeing this ms yuen! i m so glad someone understand how i feel about tt "tigger!" ahhahah=XXX

On a random note: i dreamt of this totally random guy frm bball for 2 consecutive days! n the 2nd day, he gave me a bouquet of flowers! super random!=D

I had so many tings to want to blog moments ago, but now, i didn't know what to blog. It seems that the days are getting shorter, flittering past too quickly. Before i can stop to look back, i will be push back to reality to catch up with what life throws at me. However, im not complaining, because i know after this term ended, i will be missing all this. It will be over.

1st off. Lv yuan is over! Its was a blast, but im sure i will be missing the rehearsal nights whereby dear julie was my singing partner, whereby i had to act as a jian nu ren/getai singer/ irritating n superb teh gf. yes. And the many many role-playing sessions the rest of the cast had at backstage, con't our own version of the story! hahah. Such fun. No more "Bu yao lian!", "Yan wo shui", "AIAI", etc etc. All these moments however will be in capture in my memory always. Thanks to everyone who made this such a success. 18/07-for the flower! Xiumin(twin)-for the flower! Siting- for the chocs! My mama-for supporting me! My makeup artistes- JiaYi! ZhiYuan! Julie! and Yulan! My darling director- Xiangrui AIREN! and everyone in the cast Char Siew Bao! n of cos not to forget my Xiao jing gua- PickYee! =DD Angel(xiufeng jie lent me her stocking!) Woonhwee!! (jessica n karina for coming despite not knowing chinese!! muaxh muaxh~!)

2nd. missed Choir concert on Friday, didnt have that much $$ to go both band and choir, so had to make a choice. Heard that choir performance was great! Great job to fish, twin and kingkong.! Baked a cookie that night for mum, since she wasnt home. Almost gave the game away when she suddenly returned home early when the cookie was still baking!!! had to resort to asking my dasao to distract my mum away from the kitchen. Burnt my hand in the haste to remove the cookie and clear my the mess. =P but was all worth it. Got scolded for not sleeping early, Oh well, SHE will know the reason on Sunday!

3rd.. Went for Band concert at VCH with seow and sweebee! hoho. Almost lost our way, but made it there on time! =DD Meet dong, ziko and renhao there too. Went in and sat near the front with them. Zik was munching on his old chung kee! tsk tsk. Dong playing his psp.! But i must say the concert was a blast, enjoyed the show vvv much, and it was my 1st band concert! =DDD After the show, the guys went for a drink(so lousy in trying to hide the fact from me n jy!=P) and me n jy had our own drink at starbucks!!! hohoho. Crap all the way back home. smuggled a bouquet of flowers home for mum because i know she will still be up waiting for me and didnt want her to see the flowers. lucky my bag was huge enough. Phew.

4thly! Mother's Day. Mum was pleasantly surprised with the cookie and the flowers!hahaha. She kept boasting to Dad about us making the effort to bake a cookie and bought her flowers. tsk tsk. Had dinner at east coast! great day.!=DD

now preparing for college day this friday. sad, probably my last deployment project. Found Ratchaphorn and Joel's old doc on their college day in hard copy. working hard on it! =D

WOW. imagine having only 3 hours plus combined sleep for 2 days and having dinner (cup noodle) at midnight on the 1st night and a sandwich for 2nd night, freezing in sleep for the 1st night, etc etc and still loving the experience because i m doing all this with my beloved 31st! yup.
on the 2nd night, siewyuen n me emo-ed abit on the track thinking how our council term is going to end soon, its so scary. the thought of having to leave council and the darling 31st.
n i officially "died" after the camp, didnt go to sch today. haix. lots to catch up! =(

I felt just like the wombat at the top of my blog, and i still am feeling that way. i mean none of us would have wanted such an ending to it, and yes i made a fool of myself too by bawling out loud in the middle of the hall. Felt really sorry to my team though they keep reassuring me that its not my fault, but yeah, its just the way i feel.
Felt bad not going for council stayover. Didnt bother to explain, but josh knew why. Didnt go for the rehearsals for xr play either. Im so sorry, but i think my emotions will just screw up really badly today.
Read the newspaper article about PW grades as well, and brought back a tsuinami of emotions. But what else can i do to change? nothing i guess or perhaps appealing? Which i guess will just be chunk aside or thrown into the dustbin as paperballs.
I made a promise, to only be sad for the max of 2 days. n i will keep to it. Yup, dont worry guys, i will be back on my feet again. No use being like this forever!! its over and nothing can be done, energy should be better channelled to other more useful things! =D smile!

the mushroom even got blusher!! =DD plus a love note too!!

I have the well wishes from thw whole cg 18/07! and when i laid out all the items of the day, it was like i m having a store at a flea market!.

by the time i lunged all this home, i got stares from so many people. I think they thought i was lunging bombs or something. and my dad was superb amused with all my presents!! lolx.

And today i got a belated bday gift from chiahow. its a Bear from built a bear workshop called Wini. hahaha. =DD

yeah yeah!! so happy. all the love love presents!! =DDD i shall blog about my family presents and dinner the next time!! too tired!! =DD cya!

march holidays came and is going soon, and my holidays are spent at home studying. oh well, at least its the most productive holiday, though i think my results for MCT will be a sad case.

went nus open house. must really thank nolinkfishy qianying for going with me to nus earlier to listen to the law talk. yes yes! and we even got lost in the early parts of the day when we were finding our way to the venue as we took the wrong shuttle bus! =XX hahah. the bukit timah campus is sososososososososo PRETTY... Awww.. so now i should work my ass to really really do well. Read the saturday news that NOW, it is going to be so TOUGH to get in uni, let alone those super super hot faculty. =( sobx. Need leadership, initiate an activity, sports and internship to boost SP too. i only got about 2 of the above, and there are so many others who have all 4 above plus straight As.=(

feeling damn moody these days. no idea why, just feel really really weird. AND i m really feeling quite disgusted over something. =((

I FELL SICK DURING THE HOLIDAYS!! how nice.. Lost my voice, trying to make weird noise with what little "voice" i had left and all i got is weird pronunciations.=X oh bother.

Went NTU economics talk on Saturday. It was lectures after lectures for the whole day.! i didnt even know what hell i had signed up for. And i fell asleep for one of the lectures! ok, i m really guilty, because i don't fall asleep for lect, even if i m really tired. and according to Jiayi, me sleeping is like a phenomenal and she will probably win 4D, yeah, thanks. Remember to share half the winnings with me=XX

We went to the NTU open house as well. Lunge back information sheets on the courses available and stuff like that. Was kindof interested in a few courses, at least now i m not as confused of what i want for my future. Kor also talked to me that night about Uni courses, it was kindof funny, because he was Damn serious when he was talking to me, and i m so not used to it! haha. but thanks Bro!

Bohohoh. Cg going swensens today to spend the voucher we gotten from Dodgeball and i will be stuck at home with a horrible inflammed throat. =( sobx.!! i bet its that Laksa yong tofu i ate on Friday plus a whole week of screaming at the top of my lungs. =(

as days past, it became clearer and clearer what i want, but its just so hard to talk to anyone about it.

woosh~ at last, the week had ended. Such a tiring, mentally and physically exhausting week. Waking up so early and sleeping so late each day. And having to PUT UP with so many UNFAIRNESS in a week. BOO. i am really mad/pissed/sad/etc.

I think i need to find an avenue to let out all my pent-up frustration.! Really, if not i may just go berserk. I think maybe i shall channel all my energies to Studying and be a MUGGER. Anyway,the sports people in our school had this really nice sports shirt with their pdp name over it. Then Mr tan said i should have one too, with the word MUGGER. Thanks arh mr tan.. =(( Even though i really like the shirt, i will not wear it if mine is written MUGGER. hoho. i think i PREFER TIMETABLE CLUB!! hahahah=XX

feeling really really exhausted and yet relief the weekends are coming. Going to NTU tmr for the econs lecture there with lameface Jiayi and my mortal yuang. Hope its fun. =)) and Tmr is NTU open house, so maybe i will be super motivated to study after going there! hahah=XX

A week past since the start of SC nominations, i shan't comment more, but i just want to say, the whole thing is sucking both my energies and time, returning home late and feeling lousy over it. but i hope that all this will pay off!! =)) must remain optimistic, even though there maybe disappointment now, i really really hope our efforts pay off.

Dodgeball- both a disaster and blessing. Disaster because history repeat itself, the frisbee accident last year replayed itself. well, i believe in sports and everything, integrity is the most important. And deep down in our hearts, we all know who are the true winners, though we had gotten 4th, i believe the event had also brought our cg closer( blessing!!) especially when we cheered togther and got pissed together too! Hm.. i didnt get to play though. =(( but its ok, im not a good player either. =)) played V-ball after that, got laugh at because i look very funny when i chased the ball around, and i shot the ball past the tennis court fence. =DD hahaha. And Xiangrui, dont think i don't know you say i look like "Ah Meng" ok?

a while ago, when i was listening to the radio, i heard this phrase which set me thinking very deeply. "i like you not because of who you are, but who i am when i am with u" You like a person because you feel comfortable talking to that person, not afraid to show yourself, your true self and thats why you feel the attraction to be with that someone. maybe its true, i dont know. How bout you?

and i keep thinking, who makes me feel this way.? =DD

MY PHONE CRASH THIS MORNING AFTER I WAS READING THROUGH THE MSGS! SOBX. and i lost so many many contacts...=(( have to use my back up phone for now. sad way to begin a new week.

yesterday was our 1st GM with the nominees. well, i shant comment much, but if feel kindof sad. Nominations shouldn't be like tt.. no. Disappointed. I dont want the 31st to be affected by the new nominees. we can overcome this together. We had been through so much. Jiayou 31st. Jiayou all committees. And jiayou to my dear disc. comm and co-i/c sweeliang! =))

Still aching from standing so long yesterday. went to suntec after that for the career fair. Was a real disappointment. oh well, i hope the NUS open house would be much much better! =))

i m still in a lousy mood because of my phone..=(( RAH!

i m so pissed with the sch ad***!! so last minute, treat us with some repect! we serve the school, but not some last min maid/servant?

Came back home late today doing some mtp duty, which is quite redundant because the parents know where to go and we had so few people doing it. Then stayed back a little later helping the Sc nom Admin comm-eve,ryan,jinzhi and jiayi(lameface!) hoho. Had fun together joking, fooling around and just gossiping about everything! hoho =XX

OK!i m like so dead tired and tmr is going to be one long long day! going to schoo in the morn at 7.40! n i cant believe i m still blogging.. haha. then going with my darling 18/07 to suntec for the career fair! yippe~ =)) though i think i may just ZZZzz on my way there and back.. too tired to talk or anything.

i m in a super sleepy mode while writing this blog. Yup. my eye bags are getting more n more visible. a cause for rejoice?

18/07 going to enter the class mtv contest thing.! yeah. im sure xinjun did his best in singing! so many retakes because all of us will burst out laughing before before he finished because the lyrics are really funny.
the lyrics (the order maybe wrong) sang to the tune " on the ___ day of christmas my true love gave to me..."

On the 25th day in TJ, my college gave to me
25, 18 rocking
24, calvin niaoing
23, philine feeling
22, zhihui kc
21, randy's cherie
20, professor meijing
19,cheryl poking
18, orh lang jiamin (burst out laughing here all the time, sorry jiamin! =))
17, laoda yiying
16, louis burping
15, jolyn dancing
14, xiumin sao-ing
13, yulan shaking
12, donglin sleeping
11, randy eating
10, winifred
9, mushroom fengyi
8, Kingkong roaring
7, Tujin studying
6, Chia how singing
5... Tan Qian Ying (BOOM)
4. tricia
3, yu ang
2 ong junmin
and a xiang rui with a jiayi.

Had much fun taking the pictures for the mtv too. I had to pose with a hot pink umbrella. I look so comical!>.< was so paiseh when i was taking the picture.! The rest of the pics were equally hilarious! hope we win again this time.! the YOG picture win was totally random, but we still won! yeah.

CT was looking really down during our GP lesson, wonder what is wrong with him today. hope everything is fine, it feels really weird for us to console him, and yet we really would like too. hope he get back his groofy smile and happy enthusiatic him tmr! =DD jiayou!!

i feeling very very na men since tues and even more on weds. I really dont know why m i feeling like tt. Maybe its true, ignorance is bliss, then perhaps, i wouldn't be feeling like this now.=((

i had one great weekend! hohoho. brought my parents to see the terminal 3. haha. acted like some mountain tortoise, but who cares? lolx. then we went metro expo sale!! i saw a dress and bought it because it is really lovely. OK.. it is UNUSUAL for a manly,bimbotic and motherly wini to buy a dress, but yea i bought a dress. ahahah.=XX
After that we had dinner at the Macau express cafe! u guys should go and have a try. My 3rd trip there and each time i wnet, it is NEVER a disappointment! hohoh. love the food there. Had a fun time with my parents and glad to find them still pretty loving after so many year. hohoho. i was like the big lightbulb whose job is to carry the purchases but i m not complaining. it is just great to be with them! though, it feels weird without my sister with me. usually its me and her, mum and dad. today is like mum and dad, and me. well.. its ok! i have to get use it!

yeahness. heard a superb superb good news!! cant wait for friday to come! its going to be a blast!! i miss u loads!!!=)))

my friday didnt turn out sad and miserable though despite the fact i cant go Jurong Island. haha. Had a meeting with the D. comm members. yup. We covered quite alot in that one hour. yeah yeah!!=)) way to go guys! Then after meeting, it was off to Tampines to watch Jumper with "wo ai de ren" aka Ms png zhi yuan! haha. When we were living school, met kangyu who acted angry with me for going on "date" with zhiyuan. Was very funny, because after he said that, i just laugh then said she chose me, then zhiyuan grab my arm and we left. hoho. Sorry dude. =XX

Jumper was a great movie. It was a thriller and quite action-packed. It was also quite romantic in a way, if you watched it already, you will know what i m talking about. If not, catch it yourself, no spoilers here!=X hoho. After the movie, it was about 6. And i had another movie, p.s. i love you to watch with my darling 18/07 ppl at 7. hahah. 2 movies in a day! spoilt myself to the max! haha. zhiyuan left after sending me to lameface,tri,meepok,style,mushroom,jinjin,dong,oilspill,laogao&airen. Then off "wo ai de ren" to find "ta ai de ren". lolx. i know sounds very confusing but it has links to the 1st para! =X P.S. i love you was pretty ok, except that at some parts, it gets a little too draggy.perhaps i m not the romantic kindof person, though i think i may like someone like Gerry to be my husband! lolx. However, compared to Jumper, i think Jumper is more worth the money. For both movies, my spoilt nose decided to block the 2 nostrils so i had to gulp for air through my mouth. =( Had a super late dinner after that which is a piece of carrot cake. didnt want to eat much, having pt the next morning.

Today went back to school for GM! 8.30, but it started near to 9. Was PT first thing in the morn. We went to lucky heights the reverse way. Thought was quite a good idea. Though the upslope was steeper, i thought that it kindof feel shorter. hoho. my ankle almost gave way up there, but thanks to ziko who kept giving me encouragement and constantly asked if i was ok. hoho. In the end, i made it back to TJ in one piece, no accident! haha. for a person who is superb accident prone, it was an achievement, however it didnt last long, when i went to the toilet after that, i got hit on the head by the door. -.-" After PT, we had GM in Seminar room 111. It was super cold inside and my nose "froze". I cant breathe and had to use my mouth again. it was a relief to be out the room. Hoho. Mrs loke gave us haobao made of felt. Feels nice. Inside the Haobao though its 2 gold coin chocolates. after returning to SC room, found out junmin(meepok) attempted to call me. She wanted to come back school to collect our GP package because Mr cal tan need it on mon. So i went to tell the auntie to wait for her. lolx, i kindof spoiled the uncle's plan to leave early because he looked evidently sadder after his wife agreed to wait. SORRY! Then i missed meepok when she came. I was vibration proof so didn't realize she called me. she had to carry everything home. Felt so bad, because she could have left it in my locker! =( sorry meepok for being so vibration proof. Then after the mass dance, went with some of the 31st to the "hippest" aka KFC to have our lunch. there goes all our effort in PT.

Mum went m'sia today, so i had the house to myself the whole day. Felt so pig, slept like one when i reached home.My dog did exactly the same too. found him sleeping beside me when i woke up on the sofa in the living room. haha. was kindof cute, he imitating what i am doing! hoho. Mum just came back no long ago! she bought me a super cute hp pouch, a ducky head one! hoho. She noticed my hp pouch is giving way, so, yeah! now i have a new hp pouch! hoho.=DD all smiles.

Everything seems great so far, hope it stays this way!=DD

just when i want to blog, my stupid internet connection is lost, so currently i m just typing while my connection is trying to re-connect itself.

for civics yesterday, all the J2 classes are supposed to report to either LT1 or LT2 for a sexuality talk, on the difference between men and women and so on and so forth, and we aint supposed to blog anything about it. But i guess, i cant possibilty blog anything about it, because practically throughout the whole talkshow thing, me and yuang was talking. Well, its not ouyr fault that we opted to chat instead of listening. Because, judging by the faces of those who are listening, they are either 1.sleeping 2. looking bored 3.staring in space. so well.. i rather spent my time more "wisely". hoho. But it was fun talking to Lao Gao. yea, we were having our own debate about Guys and Girls and what we look for in our future partners. haha. at least he understands what type of guys i like because he watched "xian jian qi xia zuan" also! hohoho

After Civics, the few of us namely, jiayi, tri, nolink, mushroomfengyi, tujin and me went to LT2 for the talk about overseas universities. Well.. in the end, didnt manage to hear anything either, due to bad geographical location(back of LT) and was chatting with mushroomfengyi. Then i realised Tujin and Fengyi like to "hug" themselves or cross their arms, so i told them this is negative body language, then the next moment, they spread their arms around and look so -.-". I didnt know who to respond... hohohoh.

Had chem spa today at 5.15 pm, such weird timing, but the majority of the cls decided to just study/slack/sing/etc in our GP(last period) classroom till 5.15pm. Seriously, 18/07 nice class to have fun, but not the most condusive ppl!! hahaha.=X and i heard weird noises too! hohoh..

Now i m trying to do the econs proj, but my mind in a swirl, no idea why, feel abit floaty too. And my stupid nose, one nostril stuck, the othe itchy! arh! irritating.>.<

Tmr going to be one sad sad day. Majority of cls gg jurong island while some miserable souls like me will be stuck in school. =(( namely, triee, xr, laogao, dong, jiayi and me. RAH! it isnt fun at all not going. BOHOHO. i want to go! sobZ='(

i shall get back to work, and stop slacking and slothing. woosh~

i m so so so so super clumsy. Actually, i was kindof feeling quite happy to run today because we are running outside school instead of track, and today's weather is really scorching so we are kindof in the shade if we run the Gate-Gate route. So i was happy running at my own pace for the 1st round and ALAS! i fell down at the bend and sprain my ankle. Oh gosh, but i continue to run hoping the pain would fade away, it just got worse, and i manage to scrap a pass in the end, with the help of a Delta girl who ran the last leg with me, hope to see her again to say a BIG thankyou!=))

Dropping my maths to H1 isnt such a bad thing after all. At least, i feel that now i have a wee bit more confident in dealing maths sum. Yup, though i m still really unfamiliar with the workings of my H1 class, i think they are pretty nice people who are very outspoken, so each lesson is quite engaging and fun. I really hope i can arrange a time with the tutor to clarify about STATs, cause currently, i m just trying to learn myself, which apparently, i think i made lots of assumption and aint sure if it is right anot. =((

With more events coming up like SC norm, SC camp and Mardi Gras, i really hope i utilize all the spare time i have now, then to pile up and fret at the last min. hoho.

And i just saw the timeline for SC norm, their voting date starts on my birthday, wich means i cant go to celebrate my bday. OHno...=( sobx. nevermind then.

A day spent with 18/07 is a happy day! hahah..=)) automatically brightens up my day.

Recieved a damn random msg today in school. feeling na men over it. isnt it obvious i dont want to reply? i know i m being bad, but i just can't force myself to.

Just hope to be happy everyday! ooh.. so HIM today after PE! ahaha.. ok, i m huachi-ing, u can ignore! X)

had the sudden urge to blog, but my mind is blank.

Been pondering and thinking pretty deeply these days.


I reckon that my lousy mood these days are caused by what i see and feel, and yet i find it hard to tell somebody else, because no one can feel exactly what I m feeling. They probably brush off what i want to say, and embark on their own stories. I dont blame them, i mean, my problems or thoughts probably isnt worth that much thought or effort in listening.

i yearn to watch the sunrise at a beautiful beach, to see the beginning of something lovely, the start of a miracle, and to have someone by the side who will understand and see the beauty nature creates. the miracle created everyday, that everyone is rushing off too fast too observed.

Somehow I don't where to start my blog.

I realized my life has became so structured. My life is being surrounded by ONLY these few things, and yet I can't even seems to get anything right. It feels horrible. Time isnt on my side. It feels as if I had lost a good friend, like Time had forsaken me, leaving me struggling to complete my work as Time run faster and faster from me.

I no longer feel like myself anymore. Like im enclosed in this exterior shell that is shielding me from the external harm that may come my way, and yet the internal shelf screams to be let out. Im confused, unsure what lies ahead of me, if I m able to deal with it, and yet i know i still have to face it, whatever it is. I fear the unknown, and yet the unknown excites me. I m such a contradictory person.

iknowthatthisfeelingsucksbutihopethatfromnowonthisisthslasttimeimfeelingthiswayeverythingshouldworkoutfine

I was once intrigued by the beauty of a butterfly, something so small yet so graceful. And the multicoloured wings. To me, they were one of the best art nature had ever done.


i'm beginning to realize i dont even know myself.

I had just survived my 2nd week in school, OR should i re-phrase, its my 1st week in school (involved in REAL school work) because the 1st week, i was running about school busy with orientation. WEE~ Zenith 08 rocks! Though i MUST STRESS i will NEVER EVER WISH to cut ANY GARBAGE BLINDFOLDS again! They can drive me freaking crazy! Worst then those Grad nite slips of paper i cut during the Nov holiday. I guess only Zhiyuan and Amira can understand what i m taking about.!

My 1st week (orientation week)
Starting from Weds, i got superb lack of sleep, so i was like "high-ing" a moment, sleepy the next moment. But i guess the orientation was a BLAST! Esp the Suntec Mass Dance, the 31st simply went crazy, we ran around the fountain for countless time, cheering all the cheers and simply just being crazy. haha. We were having so much fun, for a moment, the thought of completing holiday homework just flown out of my mind. But the serious lack of sleep certainly took a toll on me and i made up by waking super late on Sunday.=X

2nd week
Argh. Was a really scary week and i can't believe i m already "chiong-ing" homework to way past mid night already, and they are TUTORIALs, not some forgotten/lost in the pile holiday homework. Gah. And stupid me, went to do maths assignment 1 & 2 and stupidly think that the tutor will go through slowly, only to realize that what we really NEED to hand in is assignment 4! Horrors, but thank god, we need not and in that soon, if not, i m DEAD meat.
Had 2 tests in the 2nd week already, namely the horrifying chem and maths test. *praying that i pass them*
I felt the pace was too fast, all the tutors were stressing that year 2 will be really hectic, and i can feel it already. I was too slack in my yr1. =((
I must have more confidence, better time management and jiayou this year! woot. i must HUAT this year! =)))) lolx

*ps: i heard this on the radio "if you really like someone, then do things that the person will like or like doing. It got me thinking. When one is in love, one will tend to do things that will please the others. Just by looking at the other's smile is enough. Love is silly* lalalala.

Stop saying I m a hsifratS, because i m not. I m myself! ahaha=X

been soooooooooooooooooooo long since i last blog.

thats because i m
1. busy
2.work
3.too much things happen!

had fun today doing cip with 18/07 ppl at Andrew and Grace home.! mr lau came to visit us as well! =)) we had pack-lunch which was fried rice with one pathetic prawn, but the feeling of everyone sitting together having lunch was great. We were really tired n famished cleaning, we were like gathered in a circle, gobbling down the food and discussing bout the chalet nxt week. cant wait.! yahness.
We were trying to rake leaves at the car park with the impossible rakes they gave us. the rakes have no teeths! n it making the irritating "chi chi chi" sound, which hence made me and junmin to create our own "storm" music with the rakes.! haha. yulan also get fed up with the impossibles and picked the leaves with her hands. leaves just keep falling when the wind blows, so we were endless sweeping throwing sweeping throwing. =(
the guys were pruning the brushes. i guess they had fun chopping the twigs with leaves using the axes. At least it looks more fun than raking! ahha. but i think they gt injured as well.
At the end, we took photo with Uncle chai, the uncle who stayed with us and help us throughtout the whole thing. he was nice, but he was LATE in the morning, n made us stand in the hot sun, but he bought us mineral water! haha..
After that, fengyi, junmin and me went to junmin's house to do SOMEONE'S present! hahah. had a fun time "fren-hopping" in friendster as well. =P
overall, it had been a great day! i guess i miss the days i can slack around during holiday with nothing to worry. oh well.

haha. i hadn't been updating my blog for so long. tsk tsk.

i m so UNPRODUCTIVE throughout this holiday! yes. i m. SLOTH! i better cut some slack n get some work done.

hohoho. nxt week is sure going to be a busy busy week. grad nite prep, ogl induction, ccf concert, ogl induction, gradnite prep.! repetitive, but sure going to keep me busy busy busy!

the week after... internship! yup from 3dec to 28 dec. so exciting n excited! hahah. wonder what will i b doing. this is sur going to keep me bzbzbzbz throughout the dec. n grad nite is on te 4dec. its the final showdown.

i realize my creative juices seems to have been drained recently. i don't know why, just a random thought. but my day dreams are still endless!

BUT i m sick!!=((

have to smile more for the positive energy! ahaha..

BYE~

lemme recap what i had been doing! hahah..

last friday, dear 1807 went to sing K together. 20++ people packed into a small room. floor, sofa, everywhr, packed like sardine. but i must say, it was fun. it was the 1st time i can feel camaraderie, the bond between the whole cg. yup. though its a pity not the whole cg can turn up. do hope to have more such opportunities to bond our cg! =))
Went ajisen to eat after that. hadn't been to that place after my 1st horrifying experience of overly salty food, but surprise! they used much lesser salt that day( is it because of the price of salt had risen?) hehe. i was like on budget so only ate the ala carte ramen n not the set meal. oh man.. =(( sobs. but its ok, now that i know they use less salt, i may pop over more often. ahhaha=D

Saturday.. hmm. i realize i dont remember anything from saturday! gasps! oh man. what did i do arh... tsk tsk.. must be nothing eventful.. ahahah. =X

Sunday.. was uneventful as well, until i recieve a msg from jo. she told me she was queueing for donuts n ask me if i wanted some. so sweet yeah. thanks girl! i m enjoying my donuts.! haha. n because blur me is bad at estimation of timing, i was late n i ran there. oh my, my slipper was new so i got blisters which looks like two teeth marks.! ahhah.but thanks girl! =)) hehe..

Monday. was supposed to be eventful!! supposed to watch lust caution, but as i said SUPPOSED to. haix. so fed up. so sorry jiayi, had to ps u. =(( oh well.
n my uneventful day continues. now at home chionging out I&R. tomorrows the submission date!

PW is going to end soon. i don't know why but i guess i will kindof miss doing pw. oh no! i think i m becoming crazy.. lalalalalalalala..

hm i m alone at home.mum n sis went M'sia, dad still out, bro still out. sad. just finished chionging out the wr. woah. tmr must hand in already... how "exciting"! hahaha..

whenever i m alone at home, i will start to turn on all the lights in the house, make it bright and cheery, turn on the radio or tv, to make some "human" voices so i dont feel so alone. haha. stupid right? but i had been doing this ever since i was left alone at home when i was young. old habits die hard, yea? haha. jack is superb cute, accompanying me. =)) heex.

Mum called back just now, i was so engrossed with wr that i didnt realize it was 8pm. n i hadn't had dinner, so i chiong downstairs n bought mac in record timing! got home in like 10-15 minutes, gave myself more time to eat, but was disrupted by derek, passing me my bro's stuff and tt yakult auntie who came to sell me yakult every thursday.

It so quiet. haix. miss the voices at home. =( bleh! one more day of loneliness before my mum n sis are back. haha. till then i shall busy myself in whatever i can, which obviously theres alot, like I&R (which i kept pushing back cos i have no idea how to go about doing it), op(memorize!), catch Lust Caution(dying to see ever since don'eknow when), read my books!(i still have 3 unread books!) and many more.. (maybe friendship bands? cross stitch?)

i m so dead. deaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddeaddead
oh well. i only have myself to blame. =(
now i m sad. i need time out. >.<
leave me alone for the time being.

yeahness, promos are over, over, over, but it also marks the start of a new wave of panic, the results. i wonder when will revealation day be, because i m sure that will also be my doom's day. >.< i admit, confess, anything you called it. i didnt put in my best. i m dead. so dead. haix..

ok. enough of my self reproachments, n for more happy stuff. my cg went to SENTOSA today. hahah.. while some jc1s in my sch are still having their last paper, we r bumming and chilling at SENTOSA!! there were much fewer people at the beach, so we pretty much have the beach to ourselves. don't even need to fight with people for territories! haha.. glad they like the keropok i brought. heex.its "double decker" keropok. its like such an old brand keropok. yup. haha. i bought the "cheeky chicken" and "pranky prawn" flavour. its still as good as the old time. brought back quite alot of my childhood memories when i was munching away.

played a few rounds of beach volleyball and "oogle" at the miserable number of hunks on the beach. its a monday!! i guess hunks are either at school, work or simply bumming at home.monday blues. only people, deprived of fun due to sickening promos can have the enthusiam to drag themselves to the beach for a day of fun. hahahahha. =PP

wanted to try the LUGE, but then no one else seems interested. so in the end, i didnt went to try. oh well, perhaps the next trip? hahah.. so more reason to go back to sentosa! hehehe.

my slippers gt buried when i was playing beach volley by xiangrui, n i thought they got stolen away. haha. somemore, they were buried at the two ends of the net.>.< hahah. but then, it was fun trying to find my slippers though the sand was really hot!!!

we also buried xiumin and randy in the sand!! haha.. n me, jo(my garbage!!) and xiumin(lh!!) gt lotsa fun teasing "mr randy..." ahahhaha.. yupyup. u few willl know what i mean yeah? ahhah

alright then, shall blog more next trip! hahha.. do grab double decker!!(i m not paid to say this, but i really like them! Weee~)

its over over over.. for everything.....

this is my 101 post!! rejoice!! but my jolly mood is only short-lived as now i m awaiting my doom next week. yes yes. its the PROMOS! something that i keep putting off, trying to push it to the back of my mind, but it aint working.. its.. just NEXT week. GAH! the mounting stress cause me to be more absent minded, kuku, blur and increase my accidents toll. just recently, while cutting my toe nail, instead of the nail, i went to cut the flesh . even as blood flowed out, i still felt no pain, like numbed from my blurness of the situation. i only felt the pain the nest morning.. retarded senses? maybe..

oh well, this shall be a short post. N garbage if u are reading this, i say hi to u!! hahah( look below, its for u)

original quotes " at times i wonder, r u really that dense? haha.. it puzzles me, at the same time intrigue me. u r special in your own unique way i guess. silly=P" yes. garbage, i wrote it all out for u to see and quote from here. hahaha

i m just praying praying this nightmare will be over soon.

hohoho. i did the silliest thing. i accidently deleted my post. oh well. all the better. at least i vented all my anger, n threw it all away. away with all the negative feelings go away please. i seriously needs lesser anger and disappointments. yesh.
leave me alone and stop provoking me. i mean it

wow.. been feeling so tired today. almost fall asleep during bio lecture!! haha. fengyi was beside me. she very cute, keep asking me to sleep cos i look kindof sick. perhaps too much late night chiong stuff like wr bah. hahah. slept like so late last night.
yesterday stayed back for staff day rehearsals. My dance partner marc wasnt there, so i danced with joshua. omg, was i terrible. i forgot the steps, n i guess almost twisted josh hands when spinning around. ahhah. =P oopx. sorry joshua.. haha. guess i wasnt paying much attention either. my mind was wondering off to some other places.. when i got home after dinner was like 11! horrors.. den i chiong wr till its quite late. edit this n that and upload this n that. time certainly flies during the wee hours of the night.
i getting back my sickening throat infection i guess!! haix.. =( nvm. n it turn out tt my ankle's pain was not because of my tt sprain but due to an inflamed tendon!! no wonder it hurts so much, unlike all my previous minor sprains.
oh. i got the OST of secrets!!the movie starring jay chou!! ahha. so happy can! n theres the piano scores as well. anyone interested just tell me ok? =))
so happy today! hahaha.. found my twin "fish". ahhaha.. yesh "right hand" tts you!! nv knew we had so much in common yeah! =))

i seek to understand, to tolerate, to give in.
if u ask me now...
m i sad? yes
disappointed? definitely
i dont know why, and till now, i still dont understand. perhaps i m a slowlearner. perhaps i m just not use to the way things r done now. perhaps just perhaps, i just cant accept it...
Dont worry, i will get over it.
thankx for everything for those who stayed by my side when i needed the most. really.. i really appreciated tt.=)

hohoho. been experiencing problem entering my blog to update for the past few days. so at last, i can update.=))

been quite a busy week, been collecting money, money, money.. writing receipt after receipt. making phone call reminders, smses, blah blah, for gradnite. but its fun. tho pretty frustrating when handling the table arrangement.! ok. shan't bore u with all the nitty gritty details.

today, i went back dunman sec to promote tj with mrs loke, jiayi n belle. yup. the 3 of us. n we were late! cos we were detained at the security guard shed. they thought we were trying to sneak out of school! hey, come on, we r trying to promote tj to sec4 students, n we are members of sc and hc, will we want to risk our post?.. aiyo. make me run back to GO when my foot was hurting. but we were running late, so i heck care the pain. =P after that, horrors! no taxis. took such a long while before we can get a cab. at last. the we travelled to dmn. omg. when i was back, i feel so nostalgic. back at a place i been for four years. four wonderful years. the years in which i had grown both physically n mentally. the place that shaped me to who i m today. =)) but quite sad now that the field is gone n most part of the school is undergoing prime. i know the change is good, but its still the old that brings back fond memories, isnt it?

Went to the ever familiar atrium. the place where i chiong the most papers, maths, sciences, practially every night. the place whereby there will be the most "consultants", the teachers, to guide u n teach u. =)) such nice n caring teachers... arh.. miss those days. then i went up to the AVT, on the third floor for the presentation. As compared to our lts, it is indeed small, but i will nv forget the days spent there for extra holiday lessons, practical lockups and of cos the engaging and fun Adam khoo's course.!haha. yup.all these wonderful memories found in the different parts of the school. saw some teachers, glad they rmb us.! haha.. of cos, i m a model student! =)) missed the night study sessions most. yup. the nights we chiong papers, the nights we chiong with friends and teachers. all these and more. oh what memories.

met up with the vj people, taariq, eirene, xinmin and jiahui. haha.. we chatted and gossip about people from our year and the teachers. haha. we were at the atrium then. was feeling so comfortable to be back in dunman. all of a sudden, all the stress and anxiousness for the chem spa later kindof evaporated. we heard the ever familiar announcement from our beloved discipline master, mr bernard, to ask students to go for detention. yup. without mr bernard, dunman will be chaotic. without mrs neo, dunman english grades will drop. without dunman teachers, the students will not survive. yup.=))

Went to the bubble tea store after that. our fav hang out place for delicious bb tea and waffles(now even snacks!). can nv find a better place for good, cheap n nice snacks. n the orea blend is so nice!! its the budget cafe! yup. the older but better one. =))

we recieved a gift of appreciation from dunman. its a superb nice crystal ornament. yup. it dont look cheap and it is really beautiful. =)) love it. haha..

after that, we came back to tj. went for chem spa. hm. wasnt that bad.haha..hope so.

then we had staff day rehersals. i will be dancing with marc. haha. so funny la today, because i dont know the dance, but i manage to smoke my way through! haha.. though i keep dancing on the wrong foot. clumsy me.! hahah..=P

ok.. shall blog more tmr. i should be chiong my wr now! byebye. more post coming up on my kayaking trip tmr with 18/07! our pe elective!=))

=))

at times i wonder, r u really that dense? haha.. it puzzle me, at the same time intrigue me. u r special in ur own unique way i guess. silly.=P

yippe! had a great holiday! start off with wednesday. wasnt exactly an awesome morning because i was running here there everywhere and gt scolded by a tutor regarding seats for the old folks. so wasnt that happy. haha.. but my mood was better after that. the 31st went pasta mania to eat lunch! so many of us. pretty choatic.hahha. learn quite alot bout girls school though. heex. then me, jiayi, zhiyuan and kangyu went to tampines to watch SECRET!! ahhah.. a superb nice film! superb sweet. (my opinion) haha. the four of us ate the family combo set! was superb funny.. because its like we are family... well.. the 31st are a family rite? =))

Today went to marina square to catch rush hour with jolyn! =)) funny movie! me n jo laugh so much. our theatre was pretty noisy and there was once, a crying baby. but i guess everyone was laughing at tucker's jokes to really notice the baby crying. thankx jo for the cheese nachos! haha.. we then went to starbucks to slack. we order about the same, latte. just that mine was hazelnut flavoured and hers was vanilla. we sat at the sofa and crap. =P hadn't been able to had such a relaxing afternoon le. =)) took photos! we explored how to aim the camera better. haha.. had fun with the cam! wanted to buy donuts from the donut factory but the queue was horrendous!! so in the end, no donuts! =(( sobx!! hey girl. thanks for making my day, yea, despite u being late! tsk tsk! =X

my blog post is lost! horrifying!>.<

YEAHNESS! Tomorrow is the eve of national day which means it is half day. Thursday is NATIONAL day and friday is also a HOLIDAY! which means... no school till monday! yippeee~ i am really looking forward to this long holiday. got lots of time to do the stuff that need to be done.=))
i had been doing lots of reflections these few days, walking home or on the bus. it is always when i m alone that i start to reflect and ponder on my actions, or what had i done till now and i realize that i had not done exactly anything till now, or should i phrase it better, nothing worth mentioning? its like what i m doing now in my j1 yr is so routine based. Even if i keep myself busy with so many things, i simply realize that i m just doing things that i believe i can do it. No new challengers, no risks, no anything. It just so.. routine, so mechanical. i had simply lead myself into a false sense of security and comfort by just doing things i m familiar with, and not to do something that i had totally no experience at all, to take up new challengers or take risks. But is this really what i want to be? At times i wonder, why m i ever so busy? so busy doing what? something that is not worth mentioning at all?something so routine base? and yet i can kid others, even myself into believing that i m happy and enjoying myself doing all these things. "really? m i really happy?" i asked myself. and i realize only then that i cannot say a definite yes. maybe i m happy at times, but all the time? no, i dont think so.. i know that many will quote from the old saying that we should be contented with what we have, but at times, is that all we ever want in life? to be just contended with whatever we have and not strive for better or newer things and challengers? To wade in unthreaded water, to explore unknown routes? shouldn't we have alil more courage to do all these instead of choicing the "tried and tested" safer routes?
ok. my thoughts are really in a jumble.! i had to sort out this thoughts. perhaps the short holiday may restore the flow of my thoughts.
i dont want to whine. no. but at times i feel that i m being taken for granted.perhaps ppl are too used to me. my presence, that in their eyes, i simply blend well with the wall, always there when needed, but no need to acknowledge their presence because they are always there. their words and view not taken into account or heard at all, because no matter what they are always there. use as a substitute, use only when needed. i hate this.

Randomness! i m so full of nonsense these days. i guess lack of slp certainty taken a troll on me.. = so many things happened in just one week. hardly have enough time to digest all the things tt happened. but i m sure glad the weekends are here. time for a lil rest i guess, from all the tutorials, pw, late night, electives, etc. yeah.. hahah.. my eye bags are getting really noticeable.. panda eyes.. hahah.
but i guess i cant completely enjoy my weekend. still got lots to do with so lil time. tsk tsk. time is not on my side once again. have to really prioritize all my stuff. dont want to miss out any more things or to give up. yup! =)) (self motivation... bleah! hope it will work.. lolz)
hmm. i had fully recovered from my terrible terrible cold, but now it is being replaced by a stupid, irritating cough! =(( weak me.. guess i really have to take note of my health. dont want it to spiral down during this bzbz period. heex. still remain optimistic about everything.! hope everything work out fine, yeah?
had terrible nights these days. i can just lay in bed for hours just pondering over stuff and can hardly slp n it is always in the dead of the night. no wonder i will be so tired in the day. =(( why?!?

'cuse me! this is my latest nickname in cls. and tts because ..according to them. i say 'cuse me in a superb high pitch voice that can vs zubat(the bat like pokemon) and does a lil wave of my hand. got that high pitch meh? i dont know. haha. i guess that will be my signature face from now on!lolx.=))

Went for law elective today. the second one in weeks. but i had to admit, today's session was kindof fun, looking at all the transcript and stuff. to delve deeper into forensic lingiustic.

guess my mood is starting to return back to normal. hope i remain upbeat. i better start my planning for my two up-coming event! heex, since now i had more time, as compared to the last, with only a week for preparation.!

arh. i m confused. how come do i feel so neutral towards my ec now?

i dont know what is my problem. >.< shouldn't i be feeling happy and carefree now? since i got what i wanted? i dont know, its just this nagging feeling bugging me to go back, to just forget all my tiredness, all my stress, everything and anything n just run back. i dont know. The feeling i had after everything is like i had just lost my great buddy. especially at the moment when i hand over my bang di. i just couldn't bear to part with it. I m so used to it by now, just after 7 months..its like one of my closest possession.(of cos, it had even kiss my lips so many times) n i know it isnt mine, but the feeling is really sad?.=( i almost tear, but i dont know why i can still force that smile out when returning. its only after i handed over, everything became so real. its game over.
Was in the library computer section, when i heard the melodious tune of the dizi. i dont know is it just me or what but it sounded exceptional nice today, yet the tune seemed to stir that emotion i tried so hard to conceal. so overwhelmed by my emotions, i just pretended to be sleeping while my grpmates edited the pw. Well. i dont want to be bawling out loud in the library, right?
Well i guess i have to move on. i have more projects coming up for me to handle. as usual, its two projects that had to be planned at the same time. guess i should more experienced now since i had completed two projects le. jiayou bah wini. =
i cant help but notice. is that sadness i see in your eyes as well? even if u try to smile and reassure me its ok, i cant help noticing that in your eyes...

i had just burst that little bubble of hope today. Its over. Its final. Im outta of there. Perhaps never ever gonna walk that path again, to enter that door, to immerse myself totally in the music there. Never again. i'm sorry how things turn out this way, but i guess i had no whatsoever choice. i do not want to wait till its too late to regret, or to stay for my own selfish reasons. hope u understand. really do so.i'm sorry. no matter what, carry on the legacy! =))will be there for to witness the miracle make nxt year.

ok. i m guilty. i m supposed to be chionging my written report, had to do chapt 5, content page n editing. =( bleah! hate this job. but then i m seriously so ARGH!! i need an outlet to let out all the emotions in me! its like so complicated, so confusing, its giving me a headache! so many things n seriously i really need to manage my time really well.=( i feel so tied down by my many commitments.

yesterday went back to school for grad nite stuff, before heading off to macs for pw. as usual, pw meetings are like................................ editing is going to be done by me again.. thanks arh guys. ahhahahah... then after that i went to bedok interchange pasar malam with ms loo wanyin. hahha.. We catch up on each other's life, joke around, bought this n that. Realize i really miss her lots.. n nadiah too.. =(( we bought stickers to paste on our handphone! hahah. =P childish but... hahah..

Today went back school for the SAGE mcfolks thingy. so my whole weekend is really given to the school and school work! no sleep in, no rest, my poor foot, injured again as usual. how can i possibly rest my foot, doctor! its not like i dont want to listen to your advise, but acc to statistic, singapore's walking pace is one of the fastest in the world, n of cause i have to walk around to get to places so how can i possibly just sit at one place all day just to rest my foot? even my clsrm n lecture hall are located at different parts of the school.=((

Monday is SUPPOSED to be my earliest day off school BUT my timetable is stretching now till about 6? err!! got legal framework with louis, gt duty(not tt i m complaining bout this, like it actually, pretty fun! heex), pw!!!argh!, blah blah blah! n oh. going to meet my osteopath again for my foot.=(( think i m going to scream again. my stupid cold still refused to go away!! mr tutor had to remind me to go n see the doc for my cold for so many days, but i just have no time. by the time i m free, its like midnight? haix.

ooh.. saw him on fri!! hahah.. =))


oh man.. i m going to say it tmr. to get it off once n for all. i m sick of procastinating, sick of staying for the sake of staying. i know i will let some ppl down, but i m seriously bum out n i really need the extra hours to maintain my sainty in this crazy and hectic jclife. if not i m just collaspe one day. i thought through it for so long, ask advices and stuff before coming to this conclusion. its definitely not sudden rashness i promise u. i'm sorry

I M FEELING SO BURNT OUT! mentally broke down today. feel so suffocated.
tired, crashed..
sleepy, stressed
oh man. i hate this!
even u are unable to put that smile back on my face

I m just back for the EiE camp at MOE diary farm. its really fun and insightful. learn lots of things( including some scandal*ah hem*) and made lots of new friends!! =)) pretty fruitful camp! n i guess they are determined to fatten all of us up, cos there is so many tea breaks and food session!! hahah.. wee~ like my group alot though. we kindof bonded pretty well despite our many "differences". heez. this shows that differences do not matter that much in making friends.
had so much fun with the 31st at the camp! hahaha.. n thanks arh guys for scaring n freaking me out.! ahhaha.. enjoy myself. its so peaceful there and so relaxing.. but its all over now. i have to get back to life..

more and more work coming!! test,spa,grad nite and PTD. plz help me!! i m seriously dead.

my head is really throbbing. n i know very soon, after i start writing this post, i m going to either get a writer's block or start writting nonsensical stuff within minutes. hahha.. tts what happen earlier at my pw group meeting. i was tired n having a big headache so i started to talk nonsense and speak incoherently. lolx. oh.. whatever..
All results are out, best grade is C, damn. n worst is E, heng. average was D. pretty bad, but i guess i had to be contented le, since i expected far worst than that. At least i know i wont get a "summon" for my parents! hehe..
Oh gosh man.feel so drained these days, i had to resort to drink coffee!! i know i once told myself not to touch coffee unless i really need it, but i guess this is really the time! haha.. have no idea why i m so tired! =((
And i have a camp this weekend!! at jurong east!! must report at 8am can? oh..how "late" it is!! haha.. but i guess its going to be fun fun fun! heeX! MOE diary farm! =)) can make more friend yeah!
haiyo!! now i really understand the danger of scandal and the full impact of it.can u believe it, at once i m being scandaled to at least 8 guys!!! hey BBC(bitchy bitchy club) ppl!! spare me can!!lolx.. i m so innocent la! like tt bully me! =((

oh my goodnesss, i can nv see u the same way ever again!! feel so disgusted can!

haix.. feeling really down. but then who can i really turn to. i guess i will hurt someone else if i tell them how i was really feeling about my results. haix.. actually, i give myself alot of pressure and i guess thats because since young, i always have this mentality that no matter how good i do, my parents will still expect more from me. like when i when i was younger, i gotten 2nd in standard and yet they will expect me to be 1st. i guess even if i m 1st, they will still expect more. hence, even if people may think that i did pretty ok for my jcts so far, i cant help but feel lousy. and i know that if i express this thought openly, those who dont really know me or what i m going through will think that i m "suaning" them. hence, i will tend to bottle up this feelings. however, at times i want to make others feel better by saying i didnt do that well, but i guess people will still misinterpret this, thinking i m being insensitive or sth. its so suffocating for me, not knowing what to do or say. and i always ended up saying the wrong things. Feel so terrible, like i m a horrible person, when my intentions aint that. feel horrible to be misunderstood as well. I hate my stupid mouth for blurting things out without thinking! stupid me! =(

i cant help noticing, but its pretty obvious isnt it? i'm really sorry if i hurt u. its really unintentional.

let the jcts be a waking up call and lets do our best for promos kx! ppl stop being upset, its over n we cant do anything about the papers, but we can do sth to change the fate of our promos!as quoted:" failure is never fatal and success is never the end!" remember this! =)

OK.. I SHALL RANT ON THIS!! I cant believe i didnt gt the NDP tickets again!! i thought that with the new system of sms/e-mail/blah blah, i will get a better chance. moreover they say that those who didnt get the tickets in the past stand a higher chance! n once again.. i didnt get the tickets. sad and angry.. i really want to go!! especially this year, since its the first NDP on water. =(( so sad.. i hope i can get the tickets to the preview or sth.. =(( anyone wanna bring me along?
arh.. my mind is in a jumbled state. it cannot totally focused on something. i m losing my concentration and patience in things. i guess the JCTs had really affected me in a big way. i guess my JCTs are a goner.! well.. at least we get a long holiday as compensation. =)
Went back dunman with nadiah to collect my rotting o level cert. haha.. met wanyin. shes a ci already! haha.. must have the ci "say" ok?=)
went Tampines yesterday to do last min shopping to beat the GST hike. haha.. typical singaporean. i went with my mum. The crowd was !!!! So many people jam-packed in the two malls. Especially in Metro, they are having a closing down sale, most items going at 50% discount. I was squashed! elbowed, pushed,shouted, thrown dirty look! and almost had someone who tried to cut my queue.So overall, the shopping experience there wasnt very pleasant. But i managed to get nice pumps, so i guess "no pain, no gain"? then on my way out of Century square,(the exit was horrendous! so many ppl trying to squeeze through the entrance/exit. Human jam!) i spotted a dress that i really like it! so i got them. Will most probably wear them on my bro's wedding. its on the 23 of dec! looking forward to it! =)) ate at pastamania but the pasta was kindof too salty for my liking. haha..
hmm.. i m contemplating on buying another one of those solar operated round head smiley dolls that will either nod their head or sideways shake. i got one two years ago, but i want to get another way that is in a bath tub with a towel on its head in bright green! =)) so cute! they never fail to fascinate me and to put a smile on my face. i got so many of those small sized key chain(wanted to collect all but i keep getting pink an yellow) i saw it in tampines mall! hm. should i buy anot? hahah
well. i need to sleep le. going to source for sponsors for grad night tmr with the rest of the comm. hope that luck will be on our side yeah!=)

who have tickets for ndp?? please contact me. i really wants them! like so badly? hahah.. preview is fine too!=)) tag me at the bottom!
new past