I have been thinking about many many things these days, all linking to a single world- FUTURE. We have come to a stage in life whereby we must make a decision that will determine our career path and shape who we will be in the future. Yes, we have submitted our choices to the respective schools and are now waiting for their replies, and yet till this point, I still fear that the choices I make will be something I will regret.

At times, I wonder how can some people be so decisive and know exactly what they want in life.? Are people choosing the courses because they are passionate about it? Because they did well enough to get in the prestigious course? Or just apply them as back up in case they can't get their dream courses? In which I guess in some cases, and in this realistic world, many people are choosing jobs which are stable and pays well despite a recession. But how will they know they are making the right decision? What if it falls short of expectation?

I'm scared, really scared, please show me some guidance, tell me that everything will be alright. That I will be fine, that there is nothing to fear. Please...

Argh! the cdc website is so !!! I can even book my june lessons! :( Its so expensive each lesson. Slowly sucking away my pay. Bohoho!

Still stuck at the same company working, however now im less miserable because i made friends with the other temps! haha. Hello Cera! Hello Cheryl! Hello Ferlicia! But my senior left us! bohoho, she always try to protect me from *******! haha, so sweet right! But she left for a better place, wishing her all the best!

Had my 6th driving lesson, beginning to have just that little bit of confidence in me when i'm driving. But had a scare when i upped gear to 4th when it is supposed to be 2nd gear only! hahahha, but my instructor seems to have more confidence in me compared to the past few times, and I agree with him about me being rigid, because I'm so afraid, so I tend to be too safe and keep sticking to theory, but on the road, you have to play by ear and act accordingly to the road situation. Learnt alot for these few lessons. He even let me drive back to school (since we are out on the road as i had my pdl!)

The cdc website is still having probs! =.=" Please work! I need to book the lessons!!!:( It like so horrible the web and the students there are uber kaisu, the other time i miss the start date to book for the next 1.5 mths lessons, I have to wait for half a mth later to have my next lesson!:( so sad! sobs... Hope they work on the system,because I think its kindof screwed up. Gogo1 my patience are waning. Boo.

I keep visiting the mail box for the letter, why!! Why is it not here yet!! Sobx. Please come quickly! I waiting for you...!

Been through an emotion rollercoaster ride this week. :( Had the first taste of what the real world is. My supervisor counselled me on it, but still I'm still have the guilt within me. And I'm really so not used to going to work/lunch/knock off ALONE.

Getting praises should give you satisfaction isnt it? But somehow, they just make me feel worst. Just want to bury myself in my work work work.

Nose is acting up again. Itchy, nosebleed, white discharge, etc etc. Why do I have such a sensitive nose plus such thin membrane? :(

Been a lousy week. Hope the coming week will be much better.

My life become more routine-like ever since I started working as a temp. My job is kindof repetitive, which leaves me no challenges to tackle. To some, it the best kind of job, its so no brainer, and so easy to earn money, plus the pay is pretty decent. But to me, its not. I can't find pleasure in the work, making going to work a chore. Not only that, working make me realized how sheltered I had been. Never had i had so many scoldings, etc in a day. And I meet all sorts of people, the type of people you hope you never meet, seriously. I can't believe people can be that selfish, all they are thinking of is how to do things to benefit oneself, or to put their rivals in the bad light! >.<

And another thing I can't stand is that after working for more than a month, those people who I've been working closely with do not know how to pronouce my name, or worst still do not even know my name! I think knowing the names of the people you work with is basic courtesy! Its plain rude to keep calling the temps collectively like "the temp girls". I do not think temp should be subjected to such behaviour. Moreover, if you can't pronounce my name, you can just call me Wini. I said that many times, n yet I have people miss pronouncing my fullname but still insist on using my fullname. Grr.

Ok, enough of ranting. I will be outta there as soon as I can. I can't stand it anymore!

Caught madagascar2, city of ember, bolt and twilight to satisfy my craving for movies after a movie drought for a few months? =D And from my choice of movie, I realized they are either cartoon (childish) or fantasty (unrealistic). But one thing for sure, I learnt alot from the two fantasy movies.

In both City of ember and Twilight, the guys are always the one who care alot about the girl's safety(plus point).However, they tend to neglect their family members. Its like they are totally obessed with the girl, very protective whatsoever about them, that they tend to forget their family members, and the family members are there to help the guy to protect the girl, etc.. Hmm.. Does these scenes truly protray the attitude of guys towards relationship and family?
On the other hand, the girls are the one who are constantly watching out for their family. Even if they themselves are in danger, they would risk everything to save their own family members, a point which the guys don't get it in the movie. The guys would reply "we'll get them later, lets get out of here first." Selfish? or just over protective of the girls? You decide.

Another issue that is puzzling me is the fact that people can pay to watch Twilight again and again. Hmm.. Yeah, i agree that it is quite a nice movie, with a cute teen couple and an interesting plot, but is it really worth to catch it so many time?In my opinion, no matter how great a movie is, I will just catch it once, because by watching it all over again, there will be no anticipation and excitment you felt the first time you watched it. You know what is going to happen, when the cute guy is coming out, and stuff like this. It will take away the joy of watching a movie. Maybe the obsession of these teenage girls with the Edward cullen is something i will never understand. Yes, he is quite cute with those intense eyes, but.. I just don't get it. Somebody please enlighten me.

As I was packing up my table yesterday, I stumbled upon my many many lovely diaries which contained my memories. When I was reading through the entries, I realized that in my 2 years in Jc, perhaps it is due to the stress, the lack of time management or maybe even commitment, my 2 years in Jc were never properly recorded down. It just seems like a lost chapter from my diary. It was recorded every now and then, but never in full, just bits and pieces.

However, I realized that it is also within these 2 years that i managed to write out decent poems. My exploration with poetry started when I realized that I need an outlet to express my thoughts and feelings. Mere writings and narration were not enough for me. However, now is still not the time no share yet, no, for I'm still not ready to share. Call me selfish, but the poems depicts my innermost thoughts and feelings, which I'm not willing to share..yet. So when the time comes, perhaps just perhaps, you may get a glimpse of my works.

My two years in JC concluded last night with a glamorous prom at Marina Mandarin. In my opinion, the prom was kind of draggy, the food not very pleasant But at least the photo-taking and people watching made the event much more worth it. And of course, the company i'm with! =D The makeup was kindof horrible because my eye makeup keep smudging. When im back home, after washing off the loads of powder/makeup off my face, I saw red spots-another allergy=(

it had been so long since i written a decent post! haha. Been pretty busy with A levels and after A levels activities. Having not blog for so long, i find it kindof hard to start writing again. Theres so many things to write about, but somehow, i find it difficult to put to words my feelings and thoughts.

i think until i consolidate my feelings and thoughts, will i be blogging again.

Hot tears
heart ache
its over
i'm dead

the above just summerized my feelings for prelims. Yes, i did alot of stupid things, especially for chem and the most heartache thing is when i realize my gazillion mistakes n was about to change just ONE OF THEM, time's up. argh, my brain frozed in the hall, n i always take so long to recover! blah! but its over, next week is D-Day.

Enough of all that, its my fault, i wasnt well prepared. =(

OH, my family has new additions in the family. No its not a baby, its ALOT of babies! hamsters i mean. My sister brought home her hamsters from her office. And the couple had 6 babies! they looked like gummy bears. But sadly, one didn't survive past the 2nd day. So left 5 more babies.The day after the death of the 6th, we checked the cage very often to make sure the rest were doing fine. We were very shocked to see the mum disposed off a weak baby who was still breathing in the toilet(small green container!) The mum didnt like that baby.=( We rescued the baby and placed it back in the litter. Afterwhich that baby grew to be the smallest of the lot. I observed the little fellow's progress everyday, its growing up fine, but its only half the size of it's FAT BROTHERS who ALWAYS bully little fellow! hmpf! and the mum is biased, always refused to nurse it. It pains me, so i gave them extra food, hoping little fellow will eat more(since they are starting to eat solid food) Hope little fellow will grow up to be fatter and stronger and not be pushed around., JIAYOU! another baby hammie was very cute too, always whining, and another always sticking with the father!
So, now my house has 2 doggies, 2 guinea pigs, a family of 7 hamsters, 3 terrapins and many many fishes! hahaha. So, its like a mini pet shop. =X hohoho, they brought so much joy to the family! =D
And during the study break, i caught the movie Wall.E. It is a really really nice movie.I love Wall.E eyes and Wall.E is really sweet and lovable! =D Wall.E is not shy to express his love to Eve, and it always there for her. In the movie, it really reflect the greed and laziness of people and amplified Wall.E innocence and sincerity in making friends. It also sent out a messenge about the need to conserve earth. A great movie for the whole family. I love the part whereby the two robots were still on earth, Wall.E attempts to woo Eve, and staying by her side all the time. AWW, so sweet! =D i don't mind watching it again. But for peoplewho love action pack or thriller movie, i think this movie isnt for you. You will end up like one of those people snoozing in the corner.
Then, there was mooncake festival! We had SO MUCH mooncakes to eat, there are still some left. We had icecream mooncakes from swensen's, goodwood park uberdelicious snowskin assorted mooncakes(there was any after we bought at the outlet! hahaha), teochew traditional yam mooncake, small snowskin durian mooncakes from 717 (given) and 4egg traditional baked mooncakes (given). So i was like a glutton during this period, cannot waste mah. hahahah! =X i still wanted green tea mooncake but... i definitely can't finish. so oh well.. next year!=D

Hm. For now, i want to just take a short break to re-charged. Of cause, next week will be a very tiring week, because i will be bawling outloud. Tissue paper anyone?

i am so not going to study out ever again!

I went back to schfor GP consultation with Mr Tan. He told us to meet him at 7.25 but a last min meeting pushed everything to 8.20. We got there late, at 8.30 though. After that, nolinkFish n Junmin asked me to join them to study at Marine Parade library. Everyone knows i DONT study outside school, BUT i decided to give it a try today, because, 1. they say its very condusive there and 2. i want a change of environment. And it turned out to be a bad decision.! =(

IT was SO noisy there, so not condusive! There was this group of guys that keep talking and talking n talking! so distracting, and there are quite a few inconsiderate people who didnt switch their phones on silent mode. ohwell, this isnt the worst. When it was 12.30, Junmin, nolinkFish and Dong was hungry(Randy was hungry onlyafter he switched to one of his 7 stomachs! hahah) so we decided to go and eat. It was pouring, what luck. Then i recalled vaguely that last year, during a pw meeting, it was raining too, but my grp managed to get to MP library without getting wet from PP, so i told them need not bring umbrella, cos it is sheltered all the way. A decision i soon to regret. It ended with 5 people drenched from head to toe at the nearest coffee shop. Then when we were having our lunch, we got harassed by an aunty(shan't elaborate). Before leaving, she even asked me(why me??) over and con't her lecture. I guess my face was the least pissed and most peaceful. Then it was a peaceful day after, except for more disturbing, not considerate people at the library who choose to play catching, date, etc in the library....

Argh! i think all these simply tells me not to go out and study anymore! hahah. So sorry nolinkFish, junmin,dong and randy for getting you guys drenched, wet and cold. =( i was wet and cold too and i took off my shoes in the public library!(the librarian didnt say anything)ahhahah.=D oh well, hibernate at home and study till next thurs for my next consultation in school at 7.15AM!

Last friday i went to watch the Dark Knight with my sis at cathy cineleisure at 11.20pm? hahah. It was really nice and i really like Christian Bale the actor who was acting Bruce Wayne(batman). All along, i thought Batman was like really noob, only have strenght and not much power, but know i know why he is a superhero.=D go watch if u haven't! Before the movie, me and sis went to this shop with the UFO catcher machines to try our luck there. It was really exciting, we almost got the eeyore, but alas, luck wasnt really on our side. =( but overall, had a great day. Reached home at 3 am and got scolded by Jack(the old but adorable jack russell!!!)

Olympics is really exciting! Ever since it started, i got kindof "addicted" to it and must have a daily dosage! but this week is quite horrible, so i didnt really have the luxury to watch, but just catch the daily highlights or snippets. Had a bio re on tues, another bio re on weds and today a horrible econs test on role of government. IT WAS WORTH 25 marks. =( boo, didnt know if i wrote the right things down, doesnt seems to be too confident, i was just rushing rushing, without much thinking. BLAH! this is bad, real bad, n prelims are like.. oh so CLOSE!

Somedays the weather is fine with fluffy cottony clouds , somedays the weather isnt fine, dark clouds loom around, but remember, within the clouds there will always be a silver lining, so dont despair and JIAYOU! smiles everyone! =D

Somedays, i just want to hibernate in my warm blanket, sleep all my worries away and never ever look back at the past...

Have you ever met one person that can make you smile from within?

The rain was so huge just down. Washalf drenched but its ok. My handy waterproof windbreaker was there to save the day! haha. Lent Wangboon my umbrella since I won't need it for the rest of my journey home. Rainy days make people sad, make people reflect, but a certain someone can brighten up the gloom rain brings with it. =)

I wonder...

ok, i hadn't been updating much because i isolated myself frm the com for the longest time ever. hahha, n my inbox burst! with 1000++ mails unread. hohoh..

The feeling is really weird not going to SC room in the morning anymore. Especial on monday mornings. I no longer read the morning annoucement and end off with my "thankew" that my 1807 always imitate or get to wish ppl good luck for exams like what i did last yr for the J2s(n my stupid snr said he thought was a bimbo!) OR to use the PA system and people "complaining" i was too loud and high pitched( as compared to the USUAL speaker on the PA system who err speak much softer?) AND to stand beside zhiyuan every monday because she is the flag bearer and us talking discreetly infront of the whole school! haha. Or the wednesday morning me and siewyuen will fight to not be the last one in the line (esp when Esti was not around) and to see JiaYi not knowing where the container classroom is after our wed's morning assembly! =(( And the Fly tt was always around during wednesday morning assembly. Oh. It all over, our term had ended. The tears we shared, the memories we hads and the friendship that we forged. all this and more. All the late nights that we had and Jason who always suggested going to the "hippest" to eat and tt spastic Ryan with all his crap!! Oh and Swee Liang with his Sweeliang time and for being such a great Discomm i/c and the orhorh tao Kangyu, piaoliangbbaobao Valerian AND Aishah-the energy bunny! there is YanTing who is always in the same comm as ME and the superb creative Beatrice, Shawn and Ivan who created all the wonderful wonderful posters and banner, etc for the council. And having work with all the PC! Mingjin, Cadence and Ziko! all with different styles but all so nice to work with. And Evelyn who is so cute, esp the day after Mardi Gras, the 2 of us was practically complaining everything esp after our "hungover" frm the day before!! haha. And Huimin my mama, Lorraine my behind the scenes "girlfriend"!! and Joshua who i got to know much better after EiE and who went with me to Minitoons to buy Grp5 gift and looking totally out of place with all the girls staring!hahhahaha=X And Karina, Jessica, JinZhi, Ajit,Jimmy, Bala, Trinity, Bryan, Ren Hao, Shiyun, Amira, Chester, Jonathan, Warda, Ming, ZhengLu, Alex, YingChao, Kenneth andMarc! THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR THE WONDERFUL MEMORIES! U MAKE ME PROUD TO BE A 31st! =DD i will miss all the moments with u guys!

Labels: 38

Hahah TRIEE! i m blogging again! =)))) n for joshua i m going to answer ur tag questionaire!

Interview with myself
This is interesting and embarrassing..wahaha..enjoy=)
Instructions: Replace one question from below and replace it with your own.

1. What's your favourite food?
hmm this is tough.. JAP food.=DD
2. What is the one thing you would change if you had a chance to go back into the past?
Well i guess to save my friend's father's life.
3. What's going to happen tomorrow?
Out K-ing and pizza lunch with council buddies! =D
4. Do you hate your friends sometimes?
Hate is too strong a word. If u are very close to your friends, u will tend to expect more right?=X
5. When do you wish to die?
When my time is up, i will go.
6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
- Of course!
7. What impossible things you would wish to do?
- To have the ability to heal people's heart.
8. Do you believe in eternal love?-
Yes, n dont say i m gullible!>.<
9. Have you broken someone's heart that he/she tried to commit suicide?
- not that i know of.
10. Where is your favourite holiday destination?
- Paris n Germany
11. Describe your other half?
half, what other half. ;)
12. What feelings do you hate most?
Betrayal
13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
- Yes.They are important to me
14. What are you looking forward to in the upcoming weeks?-
Getting some rest n baking more cookies!
15. The most important thing in your life?-
My family and jack
16. Who do you hope to be always there for you?-
People who carefor me n whom i care
17. Do you find life meaningless?-
no, there are so many things out there for u to explore n discover.
18. Have you ever loved someone?-
maybe the right one has not appear yet
19. List one thing that you are scared of.-
losing someone close
20. What's your greatest wish?-
for the safety of my loved ones
21. What if one of your loves betray you?-
Question myself why.

the end, i shant tag 7 ppl! ahha

our journey together is ending...

Had invest rehearsal today, which clashes with the 3rd-4th placing match for bball, so needless to say, i was in school rehearsing and "dancing to the moonlight". n we lost, to vj! =( sad plx.

After that went out with yuen to bugis to get her billabong bag!! was really a nice bagpack which is black base with red flowers and white words. Not too plain nor loud! =D n look nice when she carries! had dinner after and we gossip gossip gossip! hahaa. N if u r seeing this ms yuen! i m so glad someone understand how i feel about tt "tigger!" ahhahah=XXX

On a random note: i dreamt of this totally random guy frm bball for 2 consecutive days! n the 2nd day, he gave me a bouquet of flowers! super random!=D

I had so many tings to want to blog moments ago, but now, i didn't know what to blog. It seems that the days are getting shorter, flittering past too quickly. Before i can stop to look back, i will be push back to reality to catch up with what life throws at me. However, im not complaining, because i know after this term ended, i will be missing all this. It will be over.

1st off. Lv yuan is over! Its was a blast, but im sure i will be missing the rehearsal nights whereby dear julie was my singing partner, whereby i had to act as a jian nu ren/getai singer/ irritating n superb teh gf. yes. And the many many role-playing sessions the rest of the cast had at backstage, con't our own version of the story! hahah. Such fun. No more "Bu yao lian!", "Yan wo shui", "AIAI", etc etc. All these moments however will be in capture in my memory always. Thanks to everyone who made this such a success. 18/07-for the flower! Xiumin(twin)-for the flower! Siting- for the chocs! My mama-for supporting me! My makeup artistes- JiaYi! ZhiYuan! Julie! and Yulan! My darling director- Xiangrui AIREN! and everyone in the cast Char Siew Bao! n of cos not to forget my Xiao jing gua- PickYee! =DD Angel(xiufeng jie lent me her stocking!) Woonhwee!! (jessica n karina for coming despite not knowing chinese!! muaxh muaxh~!)

2nd. missed Choir concert on Friday, didnt have that much $$ to go both band and choir, so had to make a choice. Heard that choir performance was great! Great job to fish, twin and kingkong.! Baked a cookie that night for mum, since she wasnt home. Almost gave the game away when she suddenly returned home early when the cookie was still baking!!! had to resort to asking my dasao to distract my mum away from the kitchen. Burnt my hand in the haste to remove the cookie and clear my the mess. =P but was all worth it. Got scolded for not sleeping early, Oh well, SHE will know the reason on Sunday!

3rd.. Went for Band concert at VCH with seow and sweebee! hoho. Almost lost our way, but made it there on time! =DD Meet dong, ziko and renhao there too. Went in and sat near the front with them. Zik was munching on his old chung kee! tsk tsk. Dong playing his psp.! But i must say the concert was a blast, enjoyed the show vvv much, and it was my 1st band concert! =DDD After the show, the guys went for a drink(so lousy in trying to hide the fact from me n jy!=P) and me n jy had our own drink at starbucks!!! hohoho. Crap all the way back home. smuggled a bouquet of flowers home for mum because i know she will still be up waiting for me and didnt want her to see the flowers. lucky my bag was huge enough. Phew.

4thly! Mother's Day. Mum was pleasantly surprised with the cookie and the flowers!hahaha. She kept boasting to Dad about us making the effort to bake a cookie and bought her flowers. tsk tsk. Had dinner at east coast! great day.!=DD

now preparing for college day this friday. sad, probably my last deployment project. Found Ratchaphorn and Joel's old doc on their college day in hard copy. working hard on it! =D

WOW. imagine having only 3 hours plus combined sleep for 2 days and having dinner (cup noodle) at midnight on the 1st night and a sandwich for 2nd night, freezing in sleep for the 1st night, etc etc and still loving the experience because i m doing all this with my beloved 31st! yup.
on the 2nd night, siewyuen n me emo-ed abit on the track thinking how our council term is going to end soon, its so scary. the thought of having to leave council and the darling 31st.
n i officially "died" after the camp, didnt go to sch today. haix. lots to catch up! =(

I felt just like the wombat at the top of my blog, and i still am feeling that way. i mean none of us would have wanted such an ending to it, and yes i made a fool of myself too by bawling out loud in the middle of the hall. Felt really sorry to my team though they keep reassuring me that its not my fault, but yeah, its just the way i feel.
Felt bad not going for council stayover. Didnt bother to explain, but josh knew why. Didnt go for the rehearsals for xr play either. Im so sorry, but i think my emotions will just screw up really badly today.
Read the newspaper article about PW grades as well, and brought back a tsuinami of emotions. But what else can i do to change? nothing i guess or perhaps appealing? Which i guess will just be chunk aside or thrown into the dustbin as paperballs.
I made a promise, to only be sad for the max of 2 days. n i will keep to it. Yup, dont worry guys, i will be back on my feet again. No use being like this forever!! its over and nothing can be done, energy should be better channelled to other more useful things! =D smile!

the mushroom even got blusher!! =DD plus a love note too!!

I have the well wishes from thw whole cg 18/07! and when i laid out all the items of the day, it was like i m having a store at a flea market!.

by the time i lunged all this home, i got stares from so many people. I think they thought i was lunging bombs or something. and my dad was superb amused with all my presents!! lolx.

And today i got a belated bday gift from chiahow. its a Bear from built a bear workshop called Wini. hahaha. =DD

yeah yeah!! so happy. all the love love presents!! =DDD i shall blog about my family presents and dinner the next time!! too tired!! =DD cya!

march holidays came and is going soon, and my holidays are spent at home studying. oh well, at least its the most productive holiday, though i think my results for MCT will be a sad case.

went nus open house. must really thank nolinkfishy qianying for going with me to nus earlier to listen to the law talk. yes yes! and we even got lost in the early parts of the day when we were finding our way to the venue as we took the wrong shuttle bus! =XX hahah. the bukit timah campus is sososososososososo PRETTY... Awww.. so now i should work my ass to really really do well. Read the saturday news that NOW, it is going to be so TOUGH to get in uni, let alone those super super hot faculty. =( sobx. Need leadership, initiate an activity, sports and internship to boost SP too. i only got about 2 of the above, and there are so many others who have all 4 above plus straight As.=(

feeling damn moody these days. no idea why, just feel really really weird. AND i m really feeling quite disgusted over something. =((
new past